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Alamka

He goes by many names: Alamka, Mycran, Aloomka, Ted Stevens, and others, but is known universally as Alamka. A god amongst men who controls the universes, and throws volunteers in to wreck these universes for amusement. Alamka sees all, Alamka hears all, but who is the man himself? Nobody knows, although the legendary Jabro has claimed to sight Alamka in our mortal universe. Many people decry him as a cult leader, but he does not stoop to their level, acting as if they were absent. He is the true, ultimate, beyond-life entity.
ALL HAIL ALAMKA
by Wheres the goddamn bus August 12, 2021
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Alaskan crab cake

An act of pure ritual fetish where by the man cums and shits inside the woman's vagina lips, pinches them together, smacks his mistress ass (i.e. in a three way), then has her eat the shit out of his other hoe's vagina. Historically the ritual involved a dog's prolapsed rectum (i.e. Ritual participants would feed the dog Juan Pablo's Devil Juice to achieve rectal blowout), whale dicks and cattle semen, but since the age of enlightening has become simplified.
Geewhizzz i saw Suzy Rotten Crotch eat Billy's girl's Alaskan Crab Cake with extreme prejudice.
by The Good Dude Giveth September 6, 2016
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The Alaskan Pancake Pile Driver Upside Down Milk Machine

A complex sexual position in which an Alaskan woman is tied naked upside down to a maple tree, covered in syrup, and milked before being humped.
The Alaskan Pancake Pile Driver Upside Down Milk Machine is a common maneuver in the northern outskirts of Canada, where the act will not be interfered with by law enforcement, as it is illegal.
by PoehlerBehr June 5, 2018
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Alaskan Blowhole

When your having sex with a girl and you want to fill all holes. you put your dick in her vagina. then your two thumbs in the ears with your pinky's covering the nostril. while your kissing her then shove your big toe up her ass. this will completely cover the holes.
Steven L.: Hey you want to try something new.
Hannah L. : Like what?
Steven L.: Can I give you an Alaskan blowhole.
by DLDLP February 8, 2017
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Alamalakadi

One of the most versatile slang available, it originated as an ancient tribal incantation of the East. It was used to call forth spirits of eccentricity and bewilderment, often inflicting the intended target with horror. Nowadays, it is mostly used in a flippant manner, telling people to cease talking in a most discourteous way.
"Hey! Let me tell you about the time I..."

"ALAMALAKADI!"

(the most common response) "Well, fuck YOU too!"
by EastCoastClassic February 23, 2010
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Alakazoo

1. A fictional place name used for sarcastic responses to "where are you" or related scenarios.

2. A word meaning a magical action, usually used sarcastically.
Person 1 - "Where are you right now?"
Person 2 - "Oh you know in the land of Alakazoo"
Person 1 - "Really?"
Person 2 - "Oh my gosh, NO!!!!"

Person 1 - "How would that happen?"
Person 2 - "I don't know maybe a freaking wizard comes a long and says bippity boppity akawaka alakazoo dippity doo and boom it's done! Like come on..."
by Dr. Aarben March 12, 2013
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Alaskan Nut

When you chug a frozen beverage right before you cum thus giving you a simultaneous brain freeze at climax.
The girl at the shaved ice shop gave me a blowjob and I busted an Alaskan Nut.
by tried these??? July 5, 2017
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