testurbate

To masturbate before an exam, usually to calm ones nerves and be able to take the test in a post fap clarity.

Person 1:Alright dude, let's head out so we can get to our bio final on time.

Person 2:I'm feeling a little nervous, gonna testurbate first. Go on and I'll catch up with you.

by kingbumii May 6, 2015

tagturbate

To tag an article, a blog post, or tweet to excessive and disproportionate levels, often out of a mistaken impression that such tagging somehow improves the quality of said article, blog post or tweet.

Some Wikipedia editors totally like to tagturbate. Instead of researching and correcting a sentence that may appear dubious, they merely tag the article with "original research", "notability", and 200 "citation needed" tags. This makes the editor feel happy for a while, under a false sense of productivity, but in reality it does not improve the article or edify the reader, much as a celebrity does not become more attractive just by having a viewer masturbate to her picture.

by OygaBoyga February 20, 2010

resturbate

To relax by masturbating.

Let's head back to the house, resturbate, then predrink for the party later.

by Schrodinger Penguin December 26, 2010

Texturbation

The act of sending a barrage of unanswered texts. Usually, the texturbator is being intentionally ignored. Sometimes, result of purported recipient's phone dying.

I had a serious texturbation session last night. He's over me, so I just ended up sending gifs to him all night.

by Noshedint March 15, 2018

hesturbate

twiddle the bean or jack in an unusual manner, with thoughts of doing something particularly dirty that is not always associated with sex. Masturbation that is a mixture of very perverted and very funny. Often punctuated by Ha! This word has become popular on porn boards, and is derived from Hester, wearer of the scarlet letter.

"I imagined you shoving that evian bottle in your cooch, and I had to go hesturbate"

by Olivia Yearns November 10, 2008

textsturbate

v. the act of sending text messages to oneself for entertainment.

Other forms: textsturbating, textsturbation

Gilbert textsturbates so much that his phone bill is through the roof.

by Dustin G. Lee June 24, 2008

Tasterbate

When you're craving a certain food but don't have the ingredients, so you just eat a different food and pretend its the food you're craving. **Not to be mistaken for masturbating, when you pretend your hand is a vagina.**

I'm craving noodles but don't have em, guess I just tasterbate.

by RookLovesRobertErhard July 25, 2011