All these definitions make me want to masturbate

I totally went keanu on his a$$

John wanted to masturbate, so he clicked on the computer in the darkly lit room. He typed “porn hub” into the search bar and took off his jeans. He quickly took off his boxers and let his dick feel the fresh air. He clicked the most popular result and started watching the porn.
He felt his dick harden when he got to the sex. He felt aroused, so he started to wank. It filled him up with pleasure. The head of his dick became covered with precum and he started wanking faster. It felt so good to him. He started to stroke it and rub it. His penis was dripping with precum.

He felt his dick become heavy and the head full. The threesome on the screen were arousing John even more. John let out a deep moan of pleasure and a hot stream of jizz sprayed out of his member. Semen covered his lap, as his dick bobbled around to let out a few more spurts of cum. He kept wanking, then his door opened. John was so scared, he almost ripped his dick off.
His dick layed flaccid across his naked legs, then he walked to the bathroom, his legs coated with semen.

I masturbate every day.

Guy: Come on, everyone does it. Don't be ashamed to admit you masturbate.
Girl: Ew gross, I would never touch myself.

every1 knows how to orgasm unless they're idiots so i'll just say how i do it.

first off im a girl so this is based 4 girls but it works for guys in a diff way i guess if you really need a fast way to masturbate

i go on to urban dictionary and find some definitions under sex or horny or sex story. those are all good defs if u know what i mean.... :)

then while i read them i usually rub my crotch against my bed for a while untill i feel really wet then when i need it more than anything i take a really firm pillow and put it right by my clit and vag and pump up against it while i read. i reach this awesome feeling and then i stop and take a break for awhile.

so thats masturbating folks! mmmmm horny

1)Even having 3 orgasms, a blow job, and at least 4 cups of cum go down my throat when i fucked my boyfriend last Friday was not as good as when i masturbate.
2)Hm...... I'm bored. Hey, I know!!! I'll get my old electric toothbrush and masturbate to orgasm. What channel should i put my TV on?
3)I went to the store on the corner and got a Playboy. Now let's masturbate!!!!
4)The year is 1985. I had heard that fuck meant to have sex, and middle finger meant fuck, too. So, I tried combining them!!! I call it, MASTURBATE, or MASTURBATION. I'm sure it'll become popular.

5)Girl 1:With my vibrator, i can masturbate all i want and i can have all the pleasure i want, and i won't get pregnant!!!

Girl 2: But don't you want a baby? I mean, you're already 22.

Girl 1: Hell no!!!!!!!
6)No example, but if you get horny and masturbate to climax.... your welcome.