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textsturbate

v. the act of sending text messages to oneself for entertainment.

Other forms: textsturbating, textsturbation
Gilbert textsturbates so much that his phone bill is through the roof.
textsturbate by Dustin G. Lee June 24, 2008
Words you can keep

texturbate 

Texting in public when you are just doin it to avoid the people around. Shutting your self away from the people around you so you can text someone far away.

Also say that texting is as rude as playing with your self in public
Stephen: Stop texturbating, we're at the mall!
Erin: Whats texturbate supposed to mean!
Stephen: Stop texting and have a real conversation.
Erin: Okay.
texturbate by Stephen D.M. June 14, 2008

testurbate 

To masturbate before an exam, usually to calm ones nerves and be able to take the test in a post fap clarity.
Person 1:Alright dude, let's head out so we can get to our bio final on time.

Person 2:I'm feeling a little nervous, gonna testurbate first. Go on and I'll catch up with you.
testurbate by kingbumii May 6, 2015

testosturbate 

When you masturbate, without an orgasm or cumming, to get the testosterone flowing for a better workout at the gym
"Wow! You are really lifting more weight than usual."

"Yes, I testosturbated before my workout."

or

I didn't do my workout today because I came while testosturbating and lost all my energy.
testosturbate by bateworld June 29, 2014

Texturbate 

To send a barrage of unanswered texts. Usually, the texturbator is being intentionally ignored. Sometimes, result of purported recipient's phone dying.
He said we should take a break. Now I just texturbate gifs to him all night.
Texturbate by Noshedint March 16, 2018

Texturbate 

The act of male masturbation that occurs simultaneously while texting. The action involves holding ones phone pressed against ones genitalia while having a 'New Massage' open, and then masturbating (if one has a flip phone then the phone may be enclosed around ones genitalia). When one is satisfied, one sends the resulting text message to someone else.
Guy: Hey Bro! I just Texturbated this girl!
Girl: Hey what do you think this text means?: "JfC774ju&@nbtjfjcuJEUWKLLPN:>PX"

tweetsturbate 

You've just replied to yourself on Twitter...that's Tweetsturbating! (tweet/masturbation). Similar to writing on your own Wall on Facebook. It's a faux pas. It just isn't done.
Oh no, the Boss is on Twitter. How long til he tweetsturbates?

So embarrassed! Was so into tweeting w/my honey and accidentally tweetsturbated!
tweetsturbate by kellybex January 21, 2011
More from Urban Dictionary

Literally 1984 

Used in response for when someone promotes/advocates an event or idea that is perceived to support "too much" authority and/or government control.

Often used jokingly as a over-exaggeration in political talk.

Can also be used in response to a ban or mute in a forum site or online chat.
Steve: I think that the government should regulate businesses more
Bob: Literally 1984!

--User1 has been permantly banned--
User2: You cant ban my friend like that! Literally 1984!
Literally 1984 by ke1 July 7, 2021
Word of the Day on September 1, 2026

Back when I lived in upstate new york 

A meaningless, unimpressive, self-serving introduction. An indicator that the story about to be shared will be pointless and dumb.
Back when I lived in upstate new york, I also had to park on the street - on two occasions, we got enough snow, mixed with just the right plowing, that my car was lifted off the ground from so much snow being jammed underneath it.
Word of the Day on August 31, 2026
Acronym, meaning Too Long Didn't Understand
Similar to TLDR
Sister: This meeting was to discuss the rough draft of my essay, where we discussed the subsidiary questions I added in my rough draft. We also discussed the relationship between my main title and the real-life situations I chose to use in my essay. We discussed the structure of my essay as well, specifically the Math AOK section and how it relates to the contradiction of the title. This second meeting was particularly helpful in discussing the implications of my essay claims and how to apply the title across various areas of knowledge. There were many sections of the essay that could have been cut down in wordiness and the ways of knowing required further and more in-depth analysis.

Me: Woah! TLDU!
TLDU by L-Evans January 14, 2019
Word of the Day on August 30, 2026
the act of having anonymous sexual encounters with other men in public toilets.
Cottaging by greeef April 24, 2003
Word of the Day on August 29, 2026

Salad Days 

green inexperienced youthful judgement and cold blooded execution of those judgements.

Rashness with little concern of consequence.

Antony and Cleopatra. William Shakespeare

"My salad days,
When I was green in judgment, cold in blood."

- William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra, 1.5
"How did you end up in jail?"

"Salad days, 'nuf said."
Salad Days by GilbyRFC0 October 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 28, 2026

age gate 

An absolutely foolproof way to keep minors from viewing content deemed "too mature" for them to watch.
Billy: "So I was trying to watch some videos for an M rated game, and I ran into an age gate, so I put in my real birthday. SOMEHOW it managed to figure out that I am 12. CURSE YOU AGE GATE!!!"

Bill: "Fucking age gate! *quick scroll* THERE! I was born on January 1, 1904. Fuck you age gate."
age gate by Banja January 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 27, 2026
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