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Jesuits

Friggin' Franciscan's are getting their asses kicked by the Southern Baptists in Zimbabwe...send in the Jesuits!
by harry flashman July 12, 2003
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jesuits

The popular name for the monastic order called the Society of Jesus. The order was founded by Ignatius de Loyola in 1534, and was recognized by the pope in 1540. The mission of the Jesuits was in three areas: teaching, service to the nobility, and missionary work in foreign lands. Their greatest mark was made in education, and the Collegio Romano was their primary seminary.
See above....wait, the example is too short???
by IrishRepublicanArmy December 29, 2003
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Jesuits

If you want torture, they've got it: iron maidens, thumbscrews (the original gameboys), the rack (not tits, folks), the wheel, cat o' ninetails, anal pears, whips, water-torture (but not Chinese because Jesuits considered them heathens), and painful vises to make you confess even imaginary vices! This is the Spanish Inquisition at its finest. You want zealots; Jesuits are Zealot's-R-Us's finest antique models.
Can you think of anything better than being brutally tortured until you confess to being a filthy heathen (probably a jew) in love with (and having had vast orgies with the minions of) Satan?

What a bunch of bastards...
"Jesuits?"
"NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!"
(partly taken from Monty Python)
by Spork_damage May 7, 2007
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Jesuit Mafia

People that attended a Jesuit school and receive job opportunities and favors from another who attended a Jesuit school. It is a known common practice in the Northeast, as well as California. Schools noted for their Jesuit Mafia connections include Georgetown, Marquette, Boston College, Loyola Marymount, Santa Clara, University of San Francisco, Gonzaga, Xavier, and Creighton.
Person 1: How in the hell did Kyle get hired?

Person 2: Kyle's Jesuit Mafia. He went to Boston College. The CEO went to Georgetown.
by ajcarm March 14, 2013
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Jesuis Christ

Commonly misspelled as "Jesus Christ," Jesuis Christ is a baguette seller from Canada, idolized by his fan-base known as "The Christians" for his amazing baking skills. Sadly, he was killed by his father, who then wrote his son's biography, including the gruesome facts that he was his own son's killer, and raped Jesuis' mother.
by SirQTPie June 15, 2016
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Jesuit Tampa

The best private school in Tampa, Florida. The school consists of 680 young men who are athletic, intelligent, and downright sexy. Females flock to Jesuit events in hopes on finding a dominant male mating partner. Jesuit consistenly sends kids to college unlike other schools such as Tampa Catholic and Plant.
"Wow, not only is that Jesuit Tampa guy hot, but he's going somewhere in life. I want to carry his children."
by Joe Sabin October 29, 2009
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U of D Jesuit

A private, jesuit, college prep high school (one of few) still located in the actual city of Detroit. If you're looking for an ad of this school, check wikipedia.. if you want the real low down keep reading.

U of D draws in kids from the slums of detroit all the way to the rich kids in Grosse Pointe and Bloomfield hills, and everywhere in between.
The kids who go here can pretty much be separated into:

Rich kids: If from Bloomfield Hills, they probably go here because they dont have the humility to go to public school, (Brother rice may as well be included as a public school), want a better education than Notre Dame Prep, don't want to become a shallow (explainably) stereotyped Country day Kid, or cant afford/dont want to pay 20 grand to go to Cranbrook.
If from Grosse Pointe, they probably go to U of D because they want to go to private school, and the only other one in the area is University Liggett, which they probably don't want to pay the 20 grand tuition for either.

Middle Class Suburban kids: scarcest of the bunch. Most of the kids from these areas are either scared of the prospect of a private school in general or more specifically of Detroit in the case of U of D. Range all the way from Canton to Rochester.

Detroiters: AKA the black kids. Surprisingly, most of them arent the athletes, although a good number are, and are on scholarship. A lot of them are legit, and cool to be around then there are the fake ones from nice parts of Detroit that try to fit in and make idiots of themselves doing so. They go here because plain and simply, Detroit Public Schools are garbo.

U of D has more diversity than arguably any school in Michigan, in terms of ethnicity and culture. It hosts one of the finest educations in the state and had 8 national merit semi finalists in 2007.

SPORTS:
The U of D student section is THE MOST spirited in the catholic league. Although the football team went 0-9 in 2007, anyone who went to the games would have seen packed bleachers filled with kids, painted chest and all, screaming and cheering for the life of them.
U of D's best sports are probably basketball, baseball, golf, hockey and the lacrosse team is showing promise.

It (speaking from experience) is the most fun I have ever had in my life. the brotherhood formed between the students is incomparable. CC and Bro Rice hate on U of D, but hey a little jealousy is understandable.
"look how close those guys are... almost like brothers"
"I think they go to U of D Jesuit"
by DX09865 January 11, 2008
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