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A few minutes before the services started, the towns people were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. So Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.
"Nope, sure ain't." ! said the man.
"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?" asked Satan.
"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.
"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan.
"Yep," was the calm reply.
"And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.
"Nope."
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
- Why does it cost so little to call Satan on the phone in the US?
- Because it's just a local call.
by alvit May 17, 2009
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May 8 Word of the Day
1. Slight sins or offenses
2. Petty crimes or small infractions
3. Las Vegas Punk Rock!
Peccadilloes shows rule.
by James Messina August 11, 2006
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3
plural. also know as Cats. Satan is considered evil, yet everyone loves cats.

They are fluffy, adorable, and planning your demise.
by mo May 16, 2014
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5
Obey Me's Avatar of Wrath, "Wrath" being "Daddy Issues". Will probably sell you for a stray cat. Decided that polka dot pants and feathers were intimidating and went with it. His function in the story is to simp for you and to gossip with Asmodeus like they were high schoolers.
Satan adopted 37 cats today.
by Oresama Sanjouu September 07, 2020
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6
The best friend the Christian religion has ever had, and who has kept them in business for two thousand years.
by Anonymous June 26, 2003
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