Obey Me's Avatar of Wrath, "Wrath" being "Daddy Issues". Will probably sell you for a stray cat. Decided that polka dot pants and feathers were intimidating and went with it. His function in the story is to simp for you and to gossip with Asmodeus like they were high schoolers.
Satan adopted 37 cats today.
by Oresama Sanjouu September 07, 2020
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A few minutes before the services started, the towns people were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. So Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.
"Nope, sure ain't." ! said the man.
"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?" asked Satan.
"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.
"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan.
"Yep," was the calm reply.
"And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
- Why does it cost so little to call Satan on the phone in the US?
- Because it's just a local call.
by alvit May 17, 2009
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plural. also know as Cats. Satan is considered evil, yet everyone loves cats.

They are fluffy, adorable, and planning your demise.
by mo May 16, 2014
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The best friend the Christian religion has ever had, and who has kept them in business for two thousand years.
by Anonymous June 26, 2003
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According to Christianity, Satan was originally an angel who rebelled against God (power to the people!) and also influenced Adam and Eve to eat the fruit of knowledge- which implies that had they of not eaten it, then we might not have possessed the knowledge to question authority. Ultimately, Satan was thrown into the lake of fire with his other followers- which also implies that Satan is a victim too in all of this, and considering he braved god's wrath to question the lord's divine authority- it says a lot about how Satan should be perceived, and that Satan might have had decent intentions after all. Of course, this is all subject to whether you have religious ideals- in which case, you might want to consider which being you're supporting :P
Satan's ultimate goal is to lead people away from the love of God, and to lead them into fallacies which God opposes- or if you look at it another way, fallacies which mean God no longer has control over you- some of these fallacies are listed below:

Premarital sex: A normal desire for human beings, and it should not be perceived as a sinful. Everyone has the right to love their body and the body of others, providing they realise what sex entails and that they are aware of any implications that follow the activities they are parcitipating in.

Drugs: As we know, some drugs are very dangerous for the body and mind- but naturally occuring drugs such as weed and hallucinogens can lead to experiencing alternative perceptions of reality, and providing necessary precautions are taken, this can lead to positive realisations about yourself and the world you live in. And may also result in a more independent mindset- which would be bad for God, understandably...

Rock Music: Opposed by hardcore Christians, Rock music is actually celebratory of everything that makes us human- and is known for championing complex ideas (seen in art rock, etcetera) and anti- authority ideals. Again, bad for God...

In all, there are lots of things perceived as sinful by Christianity- most of these are merely aspects which contribute to our independence and rights as a human being.
by Firelovesugar October 27, 2010
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My ex-wife. Ex-wives are all the devil.
Bitchs, whores, sleeps with your friends and steals your fuckin money.
"That bitch is my ex-wife and she stole my fuckin money and took it up the ass from my friends."
by Vlad Tepis May 28, 2005
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