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hatesturbate

The act of masturbating to someone you hate. The homely person's hate-fuck.
Dude, that Tila Tequila is one nasty, anti-semitic piece of trash but I will definitely hatesturbate to her porn later.
by Prestige Johnson January 24, 2014
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Hoesturbate

Hoesturbate: When a hoe appears to be masturbating.
by Gummy Kitten September 1, 2021
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Hamasturbate

To do something that only serves your selfish needs and does not do anything with regards for anyone else nor does it advance your group forward. Not to mention your self-indulgent actions just leave a hot and sticky mess.
The majority of Arab leaders only seem to be able to hamasturbate. They pleasure themselves at the expense of their people and their people's future.
by Snarcitz November 24, 2012
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hesturbate

twiddle the bean or jack in an unusual manner, with thoughts of doing something particularly dirty that is not always associated with sex. Masturbation that is a mixture of very perverted and very funny. Often punctuated by Ha! This word has become popular on porn boards, and is derived from Hester, wearer of the scarlet letter.
"I imagined you shoving that evian bottle in your cooch, and I had to go hesturbate"
by Olivia Yearns November 10, 2008
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hasturbate

to masturbate while under the hallucinogenic effect of opioids
Dude 1: that new VR porn is so realistic! It took me to all kinds of places besides the bedroom.
I remember surfing the pacific, wrestling some hobos, going down on Danny Devito and punching a puma!
Dude 2: umm I was using the VR headset last night....
Dude 1: Oh...I may have just done a whole heap of heroin instead
Dude 2: .....
Danny Devito: next time you hasturbate fella leave me out of it!
Dude 2: bet he didn't complain last night! (high fives dude 1)
by GozUnlimited July 27, 2016
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Hatesturbating

The act of thinking angry thoughts in order to get oneself in a rage.
Dude, calm down and stop hatesturbating.
by Phaex February 17, 2009
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hairsturbate

when one touches their hair excessively and so tenderly and lovingly it almost resembles masturbation. Teenage girls constantly hairsturbate, being as they are completely obsessed with how their hair looks ALL OF THE TIME.
*Morgan keeps touching her hair in the hallway at school*
Morgan: I straightened my hair this morning, does it look alright *grabs and tucks behind ears, messes up then combs through with fingers.*
Olivia: It looks fine.
Morgan: Really? I thought it looked away, maybe if i wore it like this...
Olivia: Bye! *walks away quickly to Jenna*
Jenna: What's with Morgan touching her hair?
Olivia: I'm not sure, but i don't think i can stand to watch her hairsturbate for much longer.
by ding dong debra February 7, 2009
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