Ash was very excited, it was terribly hard to sleep that night. She was looking forward to a big birthday celebration the next day. A party with all the spoils of a Birthday awaited tender Ash. As she closed her eyes, awaiting precious REM sleep, she was interrupted by a loud noise outside the house. "The fuck?" Ash puzzled. The sound was much more aggressive the second time. "Cunt's fuck! Sounds like mi car" Ash got up to investigate. She peeped through the blinds...everything was normal. "Time to get forty winks" she said to no one. "But first" She ventures outside to see if the car is locked. As she creeps closer a balding, toothless bogan from her past appears! "Ya gotsta holp mi I'm neeeed cash for droogs!!"
The wank stain says incoherently. Ash quick to react, jumps in the car, turns the engine over to escape. "Don think bout leavin papa noids his fix!" The man shouts in desperation. The man hangs on to the car door as Ash tries to reverse. "Doooooggg" he screams. Ash fangs it. The man slips from the car door, his head now underneath the wheel "ASHLAAAYYY!!!" he screeches in bogan speak. Almost seeing his demise, Ash parks and steps out of the car. Maybe she has forgiven him? She walks toward him with a smile, he is ready to embrace her. Instead she quickly boots him in the nads, spits on his thinning hair, shoves 50 cents up his anus and runs inside. Ash has the best sleep she has ever experienced that night.
The wank stain says incoherently. Ash quick to react, jumps in the car, turns the engine over to escape. "Don think bout leavin papa noids his fix!" The man shouts in desperation. The man hangs on to the car door as Ash tries to reverse. "Doooooggg" he screams. Ash fangs it. The man slips from the car door, his head now underneath the wheel "ASHLAAAYYY!!!" he screeches in bogan speak. Almost seeing his demise, Ash parks and steps out of the car. Maybe she has forgiven him? She walks toward him with a smile, he is ready to embrace her. Instead she quickly boots him in the nads, spits on his thinning hair, shoves 50 cents up his anus and runs inside. Ash has the best sleep she has ever experienced that night.
by GozUnlimited September 12, 2021
The sound a turd makes when it hits the water. Usually followed by the splash back of water into the anus.
Naval officer 1 : "I think North Korea just tested another long range ballistic missile!"
Naval officer 2 : "Nah that was just Freddy dropping a kadoonka off the port bow."
Naval officer 2 : "Nah that was just Freddy dropping a kadoonka off the port bow."
by GozUnlimited July 03, 2016
When a person, place or thing leaves you speechless to the point where an emoji is all that can be used.
"Mate did you see the grand canyon?"
"......"
"Well how was it fool?"
"........"
"Mate?"
"😢"
"Emojical eh..."
"......"
"Well how was it fool?"
"........"
"Mate?"
"😢"
"Emojical eh..."
by GozUnlimited July 14, 2016
by GozUnlimited July 14, 2016
(Man walks up to the Macdonald's drive through speaking incoherently)
"I am the macca's mascot! Grimace will come, Birdie! Hamburgler! Happy meal!"
(Man approaches inflatable burger)
"I am Ronald. Ronald McDonald, Mascot of macca's, Double quater pounder, Lord of the fries. Are you the happy meal?
Drive-thru assistant-
"Hey! That brings in the customers, I make the deals. You wanna burger?"
(The man begins to snarl. He talks to the burger again)
"Wait for the sign, and our chicken nuggets will be released.
(Man begins to run away)
"You will perish in hot oil! Soon as I find the Happy meal!"
Drive-thru assistant
"What a McCunt!"
"I am the macca's mascot! Grimace will come, Birdie! Hamburgler! Happy meal!"
(Man approaches inflatable burger)
"I am Ronald. Ronald McDonald, Mascot of macca's, Double quater pounder, Lord of the fries. Are you the happy meal?
Drive-thru assistant-
"Hey! That brings in the customers, I make the deals. You wanna burger?"
(The man begins to snarl. He talks to the burger again)
"Wait for the sign, and our chicken nuggets will be released.
(Man begins to run away)
"You will perish in hot oil! Soon as I find the Happy meal!"
Drive-thru assistant
"What a McCunt!"
by GozUnlimited July 20, 2016
Ash was very excited, it was terribly hard to sleep that night. She was looking forward to a big birthday celebration the next day. A party with all the spoils of a Birthday awaited tender Ash. As she closed her eyes, awaiting precious REM sleep, she was interrupted by a loud noise outside the house. "The fuck?" Ash puzzled. The sound was much more aggressive the second time. "Cunt's fuck! Sounds like mi car" Ash got up to investigate. She peeped through the blinds...everything was normal. "Time to get forty winks" she said to no one. "But first" She ventures outside to see if the car is locked. As she creeps closer a balding, toothless bogan from her past appears! "Ya gotsta holp mi I'm neeeed cash for droogs!!"
The wank stain says incoherently. Ash quick to react, jumps in the car, turns the engine over to escape. "Don think bout leavin papa noids his fix!" The man shouts in desperation. The man hangs on to the car door as Ash tries to reverse. "Doooooggg" he screams. Ash fangs it. The man slips from the car door, his head now underneath the wheel "ASHLAAAYYY!!!" he screeches in bogan speak. Almost seeing his demise, Ash parks and steps out of the car. Maybe she has forgiven him? She walks toward him with a smile, he is ready to embrace her. Instead she quickly boots him in the nads, spits on his thinning hair, shoves 50 cents up his anus and runs inside. Ash has the best sleep she has ever experienced that night.
The wank stain says incoherently. Ash quick to react, jumps in the car, turns the engine over to escape. "Don think bout leavin papa noids his fix!" The man shouts in desperation. The man hangs on to the car door as Ash tries to reverse. "Doooooggg" he screams. Ash fangs it. The man slips from the car door, his head now underneath the wheel "ASHLAAAYYY!!!" he screeches in bogan speak. Almost seeing his demise, Ash parks and steps out of the car. Maybe she has forgiven him? She walks toward him with a smile, he is ready to embrace her. Instead she quickly boots him in the nads, spits on his thinning hair, shoves 50 cents up his anus and runs inside. Ash has the best sleep she has ever experienced that night.
by GozUnlimited September 26, 2021
The man saw his ex-girlfriend in the elevator in his apartment building.
He began to remember their relationship in vivid detail, most of it good some of it bad. He recalled the fights, the love making, and one strange incident where a pet cocker spaniel may or may not of been thrown out of a window.
The man decided at that moment that all this bickering and fighting wasn't worth ending a relationship so full of love.
As the man began to open his mouth to utter those three little words with tears filling his eyes he realised something....she never returned his Nando's rewards card!
The man then headed towards the elevator door and produced the most vile flugget. As the woman's face made the ungodly shape of a smacked arrsehole, the man smirked, flipped her off, mentioned she had something in her teeth and began his life without her!
He began to remember their relationship in vivid detail, most of it good some of it bad. He recalled the fights, the love making, and one strange incident where a pet cocker spaniel may or may not of been thrown out of a window.
The man decided at that moment that all this bickering and fighting wasn't worth ending a relationship so full of love.
As the man began to open his mouth to utter those three little words with tears filling his eyes he realised something....she never returned his Nando's rewards card!
The man then headed towards the elevator door and produced the most vile flugget. As the woman's face made the ungodly shape of a smacked arrsehole, the man smirked, flipped her off, mentioned she had something in her teeth and began his life without her!
by GozUnlimited July 20, 2016