Hamsturbate

When you use a hamster for dirty deeds. Usually will end with the hamster dying.

Bob: I got a new hamster!
Sam: Then let me hamsturbate with it.
Bob: But you'll kill it!
Sam: It's okay...*snatches hamster*

*a couple minutes later*

Bob: MY GOD!!

Hamsturbate by Paulton January 6, 2008

Hoesturbate 

Hoesturbate: When a hoe appears to be masturbating.

Holy Shit! Look at that girl hoesturbate!

Hoesturbate by Gummy Kitten September 1, 2021

Hamasturbate

To do something that only serves your selfish needs and does not do anything with regards for anyone else nor does it advance your group forward. Not to mention your self-indulgent actions just leave a hot and sticky mess.

The majority of Arab leaders only seem to be able to hamasturbate. They pleasure themselves at the expense of their people and their people's future.

Hamasturbate by Snarcitz November 24, 2012

hesturbate 

twiddle the bean or jack in an unusual manner, with thoughts of doing something particularly dirty that is not always associated with sex. Masturbation that is a mixture of very perverted and very funny. Often punctuated by Ha! This word has become popular on porn boards, and is derived from Hester, wearer of the scarlet letter.

"I imagined you shoving that evian bottle in your cooch, and I had to go hesturbate"

hesturbate by Olivia Yearns November 10, 2008

Halfturbate 

Halfturbating is the process of gettin yourself all worked up so that later on you can shoot one huge ass load!

Carl: I'm gonna go fuck this chick tonight.
Ed: You gonna halfturbate before hand?
Carl: Hell yeah!

Halfturbate by D-Li Llama February 11, 2010

hasturbate 

to masturbate while under the hallucinogenic effect of opioids

Dude 1: that new VR porn is so realistic! It took me to all kinds of places besides the bedroom.
I remember surfing the pacific, wrestling some hobos, going down on Danny Devito and punching a puma!
Dude 2: umm I was using the VR headset last night....
Dude 1: Oh...I may have just done a whole heap of heroin instead
Dude 2: .....
Danny Devito: next time you hasturbate fella leave me out of it!
Dude 2: bet he didn't complain last night! (high fives dude 1)

hasturbate by GozUnlimited July 27, 2016

hamsterbating 

the hamster version of masturbation
even though they are actually cleaning themselves, it looks more like they are pleasing themselves

Bruno: Hey man, what in the world is your hamster doing?
Alfie: Oh, don't worry about it, he's just hamsterbating.
Bruno: Gross man, you need to get him a woman!

hamsterbating by Hamster man November 11, 2006