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Cocknoculars 

When you've consumed copious amounts of alcohol and most women, including those who would normally be deemed unattractive start to look beautiful.
After Turcs and the Coach had a few beers they grabbed a seat at the bar and put on their Cocknoculars.
Cocknoculars by TheCoachsJunk September 6, 2014
The act of measuring the length, girth, circumference, and ejaculatory abilities of ones penis. Often used in foreplay to impress the female.

This is also a standard procedure performed on anyone applying to the Cumpatriot Society of Homies, led by the notorius street gang BC Ballers
D-Shiznit: Woah bro! Did you hear that Miles cockulated himself?
A-Dawg: No, i didnt hear that yet, holmes! What were his cockulations?
D-Shiznit: It turns out that he has a whopping 3 and a half inch penis!
A-Dawg: Brodawg, we should go cockulate ourselves!
D-shiznit: Totes holmes! Il go grab my Cockulator and some Mens Fitness magazines!
Cockulate by A-dawgdizzle October 18, 2009

Cockulation 

The number (or population) of people in a certain location who have a cock.
"Its so busy in here!"
"Yeah, what's the cockulation?"
"I've counted 65"

cockolate-chip cookie 

A penis dipped in chocolate; A chocolate chip cookie baked in penis form.

A way to confuse a female into sucking your tally whacker.
Dude: "Hey person with a vagina, want a cockolate-chip cookie?"
Vagina: "uh..sure."
8===D 0:
cockolate-chip cookie by @PEINPE October 2, 2011

Cockulator

A method used to determine when you are going to fuck her! A prediction to your buddies when you will screw the hot chick you just met.
Dudes! Check Lisa out, I'll have to pull out the old cockulator and say I'll bang her in three days!
Cockulator by Sambiase September 6, 2016

Cockolantern 

An illuminated cock given its glow by a glow in the dark condom
ZOMG ITS RADIOACTIVE ITS A COCK NO ITS COCKOLANTERN!