The act of measuring the length, girth, circumference, and ejaculatory abilities of ones penis. Often used in foreplay to impress the female.

This is also a standard procedure performed on anyone applying to the Cumpatriot Society of Homies, led by the notorius street gang BC Ballers
D-Shiznit: Woah bro! Did you hear that Miles cockulated himself?
A-Dawg: No, i didnt hear that yet, holmes! What were his cockulations?
D-Shiznit: It turns out that he has a whopping 3 and a half inch penis!
A-Dawg: Brodawg, we should go cockulate ourselves!
D-shiznit: Totes holmes! Il go grab my Cockulator and some Mens Fitness magazines!
by A-dawgdizzle October 18, 2009
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When chicks try and calculate how many cocks they have undertaken
Giiiiirl the other night I tried to cockulate and I gave up after I got to freshman year of college
by Yo bald headed momma November 27, 2017
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The number (or population) of people in a certain location who have a cock.
"Its so busy in here!"
"Yeah, what's the cockulation?"
"I've counted 65"
by guessingcockulation March 16, 2010
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A method used to determine when you are going to fuck her! A prediction to your buddies when you will screw the hot chick you just met.
Dudes! Check Lisa out, I'll have to pull out the old cockulator and say I'll bang her in three days!
by Sambiase September 06, 2016
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Calculating/thinking with cocks instead of brains. Usually leads to deep regrets.
"Aw, man, I wish I hadn't bought that lap dance. I was just cockulating... Now I'm out of money and my girlfriend's going to be pissed."
"sucks, man"
by teehee23 November 01, 2011
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a machine that is used to measure the Hight, girth, ejaculation speed & sperm quality of ones penis
you: bro what is your score on the Cockulator

me: i broke the scale my cock is to powerful for it
by Johnny sons December 11, 2021
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cock'⋅u⋅lent
-adj
1. Visually similar to cock.
2. Unpleasant or of poor quality to such a degree that it is noteworthy.
3. Very salty.

Origin: Combination of cock and succulent.
"Damn, there sure were some cockulent shenanigans going on in that L4D match."
by Pastymage December 04, 2008
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