Tisfu 

Acronym standing for "That/This Is So Fucked Up!"
Often varied to "tismu", "tirfu", or "tisfmu" meaning "that is so messed up", "that is really fucked up" or "that is so fucking messed up" respectively.

Jimbo: Dude, I found a huge pregnant rat in my Suburban!
Dude: Dude, my name is Dude. Did you ever notice that?
Jimbo: ...no...dude, tisfu!!

Tisfu by Blake C. May 25, 2008

5 Tissue Load 

The number of tissues required to gather a load of gism.

"Yuo Tony- I just blew a 5 Tissue Load afta seein' Brenda's bald snatch ".

5 Tissue Load by Mr.Tissue January 31, 2018

Tissue-mellons 

'Tissue-mellons' is a phenomenon generally recoursed by small breasted girls with insufficient capital to undergo a breast cosmetic surgery. Such girls, striving to boost their self-confidence, wad layers of tissue paper in the bra until a form of cleavage is somewhat contrived. More often than not, this practice ends up exacerbating the whole situation. This is beacuse when the tissue-melloned female proceeds to carnal knowledge, the man's first reactions at the bare pigeon-tits, may have considerable negative effects on the self-esteem of the former - possibly goading the girl to add more tissue-paper the next time she goes out. The 'tissue-mellons' is a vicious cycle.

Example 1
Mary: Hurry up the taxi is here! The party starts in 15 minutes!
Sue: Fuck! Why are we out of toilet paper on a Saturday night?!
Mary: Come on let's go! You can tissue-mellons your boobs later!
Sue: fucking tits!!

Example 2
John: did you bang that chick yesterday?
Peter: yeah dude. I took her to my place and guess what?! She was tissue-melloned! But I fucked her anyways.

Tissue-mellons by The Malteser. October 2, 2016

Tissue Kids

When a male masturbates and cums into a tissue thereby impregnating the tissue resulting in children.

Damn, Bri so fine I dropped a couple tissue kids on her last night.

Tissue Kids by TheMostStudious June 21, 2016

Tissue for your Missue 

When someone has to hand a grown man a tissue for his mommy issues because he is acting like a little bitch.
Example: Someone could say “Do you need a tissue for your missue” or missues if it is pleural or there are multiple mommy issues one is crying over.

Frank do you need a “tissue for your missue” because you are complaining about your wife again!

Sarah asked David “Do you need a tissue for your missue, David?” because he is crying about his gf Beth again; Something about his dinner being cold...

Tissue for your Missue by WickedHellamean November 8, 2018

tissue fishing 

when the tissue box fails to reload after someone before you has used it, forcing you to panic for 10 minutes trying to get the damn tissue out of the box using only your pointer and middle finger before someone notices your embarrassing dilemma. Usually takes place in an environment where a snot rocket isn't an option (boss' office, girlfriend's house)

Jim: Stupid defunct tissue box didn't reload so i was tissue fishing with my hamburger helper hands for 10 minutes

tissue fishing by phan4life May 17, 2010

BE-YOU-TIFUL 

Play on word that means that you're beautiful when you decide to be yourself.

be-YOU-tiful (pun)

BE-YOU-TIFUL by Tortuela June 21, 2013