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A clod and shriveled up little penis. The opposite of a boner.
Can be used as a negative term to call someone who is being lame.
“I had a major schmumf coming out of the shower
“That guy is such a schmumf”
Schmumf by the doodliture February 5, 2024
Words you can keep

Schlumfy 

Adj: Feeling the way a frayed carpet looks.
An emotion caused by an overstimulation of generally negative, turbulent events which leads to wanting to crawl under bed covers and curl up for a little while.
After a week of bad news for John, I could see his demeanour change. He came into work looking schlumfy.
Schlumfy by Chipped Coffee Mug September 7, 2021
Related Words

Schmuffle Bag 

She kicked him in the schmuffle bag!
Schmuffle Bag by Notjeep November 30, 2011

Schmumblarded 

A non-offensive synonym for retarded, stupid, or dumb. Can also mean very drunk. Originated at Villanova University by E. Boling.
I got a $4 haircut from some guy outside the bodega & now I look schmumblarded.

What you say to a friend upon seeing a girl with huge boobs: “are those girls boobs literally schmumblarded or what”

Dude, after the 14th jägerbomb I was completely schmumblarded.
Schmumblarded by a.eglin June 12, 2019
A broski that refuses to go to ur birthday because he needs to play fortnite.
Ethan is such a fucking schmump!
Schmump by MrSuperSoaker November 8, 2019

schmmfff 

Essentially used as a placeholder for different words depending upon the situation. Although widely used, few understand its original meaning, which has led to its widespread use. Although only allowed for use by veterans, many rooks and weaksauce non vets try to attain schmmfff status.
Live to Schmmfff
Hey have you schmmfffed yet?
awww schmmfff!
schmmfff by S. McGee December 28, 2005

schmuffle 

to alernatly smush and/or ruffle another's hair with hands, usually in a side to side motion.

this word comes from combining the two words "smush" and "ruffle" while slurring the beginning a bit.
"Oh, that guy is so fuzzy. I just want to go up to him, schmuffle his hair, and say, "Will you marry me?"
schmuffle by J gleason July 25, 2008
More from Urban Dictionary
Acronym, meaning Too Long Didn't Understand
Similar to TLDR
Sister: This meeting was to discuss the rough draft of my essay, where we discussed the subsidiary questions I added in my rough draft. We also discussed the relationship between my main title and the real-life situations I chose to use in my essay. We discussed the structure of my essay as well, specifically the Math AOK section and how it relates to the contradiction of the title. This second meeting was particularly helpful in discussing the implications of my essay claims and how to apply the title across various areas of knowledge. There were many sections of the essay that could have been cut down in wordiness and the ways of knowing required further and more in-depth analysis.

Me: Woah! TLDU!
TLDU by L-Evans January 14, 2019
Word of the Day on August 30, 2026
the act of having anonymous sexual encounters with other men in public toilets.
Cottaging by greeef April 24, 2003
Word of the Day on August 29, 2026

Salad Days 

green inexperienced youthful judgement and cold blooded execution of those judgements.

Rashness with little concern of consequence.

Antony and Cleopatra. William Shakespeare

"My salad days,
When I was green in judgment, cold in blood."

- William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra, 1.5
"How did you end up in jail?"

"Salad days, 'nuf said."
Salad Days by GilbyRFC0 October 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 28, 2026

age gate 

An absolutely foolproof way to keep minors from viewing content deemed "too mature" for them to watch.
Billy: "So I was trying to watch some videos for an M rated game, and I ran into an age gate, so I put in my real birthday. SOMEHOW it managed to figure out that I am 12. CURSE YOU AGE GATE!!!"

Bill: "Fucking age gate! *quick scroll* THERE! I was born on January 1, 1904. Fuck you age gate."
age gate by Banja January 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 27, 2026

board chow 

A)
The Crud that collects under the keys in a keyboard. Usually more severe in the keyboards of programmers and webmasters as they tend to spend a lot of time at the the computer and thus eat at their desk. Mainly affecting IBM Model M (clicly) style boards.

B)
Can also be used to gross out Non-Techie people
A)
Bill: want to go to the club?
Bob: No, I've got to clean out my board chow, keys are starting to stick.

B)
Bill: Want to go out to get a bite?
Bob: No, i am just going to have some of my board chow/
Bill: Whats' that?
Bob: The food scraps that collect in my keyboard; Want some?
Bill: *GAG* *HURL* *GAG*
board chow by BinaryHackerMan September 3, 2007
Word of the Day on August 26, 2026

young pup 

a young person, a young adult in their late teens/early 20s.
Ah, you're just a young pup at 23!
young pup by the dog May 30, 2006
Word of the Day on August 25, 2026
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