Schmeard

A thick penis. Unlike a chode, it's only defining quality is girth.

Hey, have you guys seen Paudie without pants? He's got a big ol' schmeard.

by YonnWick August 12, 2022

german schmear

Verb. When one rubs a white substance(jizz) to cover up an existing facade (face).

Chuck decided that the only way to update Kyle's appearance was to give him an immaculate German schmear.

by Wealcattty October 15, 2017

schmear

1.NYC Deli slang for the act coating a bagel with a small amount of cream cheese.
2. A small amount of any condiment applied to a food item.
3. A medical test for women from New York.

1. "Hey Marty a poppy seed with a schmear ." (NOTE:To use schmear authentically the customer usually mumbles while he waits just loud enough for other customers to hear something like: "Oy is so hot in here , I should be so rich to pay this electric bill. How does he make a living? Such a waste.")
2. Klutz...I said a schmear of mustard...not the whole jar."
2. I am so verklempt my doctor wants me to get another pap schmear. I should live that long!"

by Global Feetus April 10, 2007

schmearfinkle

a poop trail or skid mark. anal debris/residue left behind purposefully or not, for another's discovery.

Lindsey left a huge schmearfinkle in my toilet.

by ClaytonJames July 7, 2005

schmead

Unknown bodily substance found on everyday items.

"Amanda left a bunch of schmead on my monitor and keyboard."

by retlehs September 16, 2006

butt schmear

when a dog scoots it's butt across the floor in order to excrete it's anal glands often leaving a residue of poo in it's wake...

My dog Willis butt schmeared across the floor yesterday and we had to clean up all the shit left behind...it was gross.

by beckyboo April 7, 2014

Schmarder

1.) A person in NY.
2.) One who is extremely fat and eats everything possible in sight; a fat ass.

"The guy in McDonald's is such a schmarder."
"I hope I never have to share a seat on the bus with a schmarder again, the seat almost broke!"

by N/A April 21, 2005