Mind reading is a way to explore the minds of anothers. You have a secret sexual fantasy? Whether it be those divine twins who work in the sandwich shop down the road, or dressing up as Nanamis Gouri and being licked by traffic wardens, just find someone who has done it and suck the experience right out of their brains. Presto, you might as well have done it yourself! Anyone can be a mind-reader, and of course sexual gratification is not the only use it can be put to. Many people, including babies, have learned the skill and use it on a day-to-day basis, although in the case of infants, nobody knows what use they put the knowledge to.
The first mind reading was done by Ron L. Hubbabubba, as a tool for his religion called shitology. Of course there are also people who have learnt it on their own and it has been suspected that Hubbabubba was just seriously drunk and lied about his mind reading experiences.
There are two types of mind readers, who are described below:
Lower rank mind reader
These are the guys you should be afraid of. They just love to read the minds of people right next to them. On a bus, in an airplane, in a whorehouse, everywhere. You ever been sat in a cafe or perusing the dirty parts of the history books in the library when your phone beeps, and someone has sent you some stupid message by bluetooth? Well, imagine the scary looking librarian,(you know the one with the hair lip and support shoes) gazing into your brain while you are pocket fumbling over naked tribespeople in the National Geographic. Be afraid.
Über mind reader
You don't need to be afraid of these guys. Your sexual fantasies are too low rank for these guys. They spend their time trying read the mind of God. They take lots of classes to achieve this kind of power and believe me, they know everything, and if you had had a peek in God's mind, you would too. They all belong in secret organizations, like the Freemasons and McDonalds and you can't really know who is one of them, so suspect everyone.
How to learn mind reading
The question you have all been asking is to be answered now. Yes, you can become one too. One way is to contact shitologists. They will probably remove all your moneyclusters and destroy your life, but so what? At least you believe you can read minds after that. A better way to do this is to contact the nearest mind reading-school in your area. There you will be told all the tips and tricks to mind reading for a small fee - although you don't really need to contact them, for of course, they know you're coming. Is that the doorbell?
And of course there is the self studying route, which is not to be recommended. The easiest way to start it is to go at the nearest bar. There are usually lots of open minded people who are easy to read. Go sit right next to someone, stare him/her in the eyes and listen carefully. Can you hear anything? This is of course quite dangerous. If the guy who you are staring at realizes that he is being probed, he might just kick the shit out of you. Or he might think you want him, and then he'll have sex with you. And think about the failure when you tried to read peoples minds and next morning everybody knows your sexual fantasies and about the mole on your wifes/husbands left buttcheek.
The first mind reading was done by Ron L. Hubbabubba, as a tool for his religion called shitology. Of course there are also people who have learnt it on their own and it has been suspected that Hubbabubba was just seriously drunk and lied about his mind reading experiences.
There are two types of mind readers, who are described below:
Lower rank mind reader
These are the guys you should be afraid of. They just love to read the minds of people right next to them. On a bus, in an airplane, in a whorehouse, everywhere. You ever been sat in a cafe or perusing the dirty parts of the history books in the library when your phone beeps, and someone has sent you some stupid message by bluetooth? Well, imagine the scary looking librarian,(you know the one with the hair lip and support shoes) gazing into your brain while you are pocket fumbling over naked tribespeople in the National Geographic. Be afraid.
Über mind reader
You don't need to be afraid of these guys. Your sexual fantasies are too low rank for these guys. They spend their time trying read the mind of God. They take lots of classes to achieve this kind of power and believe me, they know everything, and if you had had a peek in God's mind, you would too. They all belong in secret organizations, like the Freemasons and McDonalds and you can't really know who is one of them, so suspect everyone.
How to learn mind reading
The question you have all been asking is to be answered now. Yes, you can become one too. One way is to contact shitologists. They will probably remove all your moneyclusters and destroy your life, but so what? At least you believe you can read minds after that. A better way to do this is to contact the nearest mind reading-school in your area. There you will be told all the tips and tricks to mind reading for a small fee - although you don't really need to contact them, for of course, they know you're coming. Is that the doorbell?
And of course there is the self studying route, which is not to be recommended. The easiest way to start it is to go at the nearest bar. There are usually lots of open minded people who are easy to read. Go sit right next to someone, stare him/her in the eyes and listen carefully. Can you hear anything? This is of course quite dangerous. If the guy who you are staring at realizes that he is being probed, he might just kick the shit out of you. Or he might think you want him, and then he'll have sex with you. And think about the failure when you tried to read peoples minds and next morning everybody knows your sexual fantasies and about the mole on your wifes/husbands left buttcheek.
by kodiac1 July 06, 2006
Gun. You know, barrel, trigger, bullet, bang bang you're dead. guns are the cat's best friend
Well known fact: guns don't kill people, flaming shoulder pads kill people. Often times with guns. Unless the Gun misfires, killing the shooter, in which case, yes, guns do kill people.
Well, the gun helps.
This fact was tested scientifically by the Royal Society in 1701, and they discovered that in fact bullets kill people most of the time, and guns kill people if you smack them upside the head with them.
Fuck, my head hurts. Just shoot me now.
There are some cases also, in which you may have a friend called Gun that does not like you very much. But that's part of life anyway... and Son of a Gun isn't very nice at times either.
The gun consists of three principal components: the barrel, the projectile and the propellant. The propellant is a rapidly expanding substance which forces the bullet down the barrel and towards the intended target. The shooter must be sure to never mess up (like firing the barrel by holding the propellant or by manually pushing the bullets through the barrel to push the propellant).
On leaving the barrel the bullet causes a supersonic shock wave to be emitted which propagates towards the victim, causing distraction. Often, guns are fitted with noise-enhancing devices to increase this effect.
The modern firearm is equipped with a spark chamber, designed to produce muzzle flash. This is to allow guns to be used as ad-hoc flashlights in darkened areas by repeated firing. The flash also acts to scare and unnerve the victim. In fact, in the early days of photography before the invention of the flashbulb, photographs were illuminated by the discharge of a large cannon. This made the photographer amongst the deadliest of professions.
Post-modern weaponry, consists of phasors which emit a powerful beam which is enough to cut a loaf of bread into slices suitable for eating by dwarf-humans, Klingons and Bacterium alike. The beam is often colorful, to prevent boredom in between in-ship battles, and to create some random distraction for the enemies to look at.
Guns in Entertainment
Guns are used in many TV shows and movies. They are often used out of context, such as being a soother for a baby, rather than a deadly weapon.
Guns are used in the TV show 24. This is a show about how Jack Bauer runs around killing people with guns.
Ray guns are often used in the show Star Trek, in which the main characters shoot the bad characters. It is widely disputed as to whether their ray guns are accurate portrayal of real ray guns. It should be noted that guns are known to fire metal bullets rather than lasers.
Why do people die from gun?
In Soviet Russia, people kill GUNS!! ~ Charlton Heston, NRA spokesman
Often the shock of a bright flash, loud "bang" and sharp metal projectile travelling at upwards of 300 metres per second can Lead to Psychological effects such as Heart arrhythmia, fainting and Farting. The most common effect is Diarrhea. This is why, in a firefight, the stronger will prevails - weaker shooters (typically terrorists or Imperial Storm-Troopers) will drop like flies from the stress of the experience and the weight of their full underwear, whereas those of a heroic disposition (such as Americans and Jedi) will withstand the nerve-rattling experience and survive.
A commonly held Myth is that bullets penetrating the flesh will kill people. A simple back-of-envelope calculation reveals the flaw in this argument. By modelling bullets as point particles, and people as one-dimensional strings, one can see that the chance of a bullet hitting a person, even in a crowd of thousands, is infinitesimally small. The Truth is that Death from guns is often due to the sheer surprise of being shot at.
That said, being hit by a bullet is a common experience for the clinically obese, and the resulting pain and injury can often result in substantial fecal weight loss.
A study conducted by the university of Scmiillicettittisinndamorghning in wales shows that people who get shot generaly die of some form of leadpoisoning. This awkward result has been classified by several gun toting rightwing trailertrash slobs as trival information, or so says the whitehouse "If them folks are dumb enough to stand infront a speedin bullet. Now ya hear".
_______________________________________
Guns are brilliant tools of illegal death. Murder and Suicide are the best examples. As one of the troops in an Al-Quaida training camp said shortly before shooting herself three times in the head with an AK47 from different angles and then putting the weapons tidily back into the armoury (that part is actually true): "Don't leave me, i've had death threats," which is obvious code for "I am a zombie and will kill myself to please our lord Jesus christ who died for all of our sins." Her Suicide note which wasn't written in her handwriting, leads Scientists to believe she used her zombie Psychic powers to make someone else write it, who coincidentally didn't like her. This is likely inspired by the late JFK's suicide, which involved stabbing himself three times in the back, pissing on his own dead body and throwing himself off a bridge. This is indeed an accomplishment in suicide.
Guns don't kill people. People don't kill people. The bullets and/or the shock of the blast or the person bleeding is what kills them. The gun is blamed because it helps and the person is responsible because they were just around when the person died.
Other countries have varying laws for guns, gun crimes, and gun control.
Guatemala: It is mandatory a gun is given to all babies of 5 months of age and up.
Canada: Canadians are too shy to operate guns. Canada has no gun-related deaths.
Japan: Grenade Launchers are constantly circulated througout this country by the mafia. Dogs must be licensed to own a firearm.
Australia: Guns are banned in Australia, so the government can feel safe that the population won't rise up against them. Knives are preferable.
The United States: There are no guns in this country. Most people will vomit at the sight of them.
New Zealand: Many native species are threatened with extinction, including but not limited to; kiwi, tuatara, moa, proud-mullet-wearing bogans, hobbits and 'real' men. This is the result of Captain Cook introducing firearms to the native sheep in 1770, at the same time introducing women, rambo-style headbands, and a hearty cocktail called "the Wilde Captain" made from seawater, chocolate icecream, and methylated spirits and named after a certain British author. Sheep, usually docile, innocent, cuddly animals went abso-frikkin-lutely postal in a multi-cultural, genocidal, extravaganza, with much "Are you talkin' to me?" and "Do you feel lucky, punk?"ing (sic). Their lush white feathers were stained the blood of their foes for a millenia. All hail our glorious sheep overlords!
Germany: Children commit 97% of gun crimes. A Banana can be purchased at any Mom and Pop adult video store.
Zimbabwe: This highly industrialized nation has made the most advances in laser technology, and keeps guns closely guar
Well known fact: guns don't kill people, flaming shoulder pads kill people. Often times with guns. Unless the Gun misfires, killing the shooter, in which case, yes, guns do kill people.
Well, the gun helps.
This fact was tested scientifically by the Royal Society in 1701, and they discovered that in fact bullets kill people most of the time, and guns kill people if you smack them upside the head with them.
Fuck, my head hurts. Just shoot me now.
There are some cases also, in which you may have a friend called Gun that does not like you very much. But that's part of life anyway... and Son of a Gun isn't very nice at times either.
The gun consists of three principal components: the barrel, the projectile and the propellant. The propellant is a rapidly expanding substance which forces the bullet down the barrel and towards the intended target. The shooter must be sure to never mess up (like firing the barrel by holding the propellant or by manually pushing the bullets through the barrel to push the propellant).
On leaving the barrel the bullet causes a supersonic shock wave to be emitted which propagates towards the victim, causing distraction. Often, guns are fitted with noise-enhancing devices to increase this effect.
The modern firearm is equipped with a spark chamber, designed to produce muzzle flash. This is to allow guns to be used as ad-hoc flashlights in darkened areas by repeated firing. The flash also acts to scare and unnerve the victim. In fact, in the early days of photography before the invention of the flashbulb, photographs were illuminated by the discharge of a large cannon. This made the photographer amongst the deadliest of professions.
Post-modern weaponry, consists of phasors which emit a powerful beam which is enough to cut a loaf of bread into slices suitable for eating by dwarf-humans, Klingons and Bacterium alike. The beam is often colorful, to prevent boredom in between in-ship battles, and to create some random distraction for the enemies to look at.
Guns in Entertainment
Guns are used in many TV shows and movies. They are often used out of context, such as being a soother for a baby, rather than a deadly weapon.
Guns are used in the TV show 24. This is a show about how Jack Bauer runs around killing people with guns.
Ray guns are often used in the show Star Trek, in which the main characters shoot the bad characters. It is widely disputed as to whether their ray guns are accurate portrayal of real ray guns. It should be noted that guns are known to fire metal bullets rather than lasers.
Why do people die from gun?
In Soviet Russia, people kill GUNS!! ~ Charlton Heston, NRA spokesman
Often the shock of a bright flash, loud "bang" and sharp metal projectile travelling at upwards of 300 metres per second can Lead to Psychological effects such as Heart arrhythmia, fainting and Farting. The most common effect is Diarrhea. This is why, in a firefight, the stronger will prevails - weaker shooters (typically terrorists or Imperial Storm-Troopers) will drop like flies from the stress of the experience and the weight of their full underwear, whereas those of a heroic disposition (such as Americans and Jedi) will withstand the nerve-rattling experience and survive.
A commonly held Myth is that bullets penetrating the flesh will kill people. A simple back-of-envelope calculation reveals the flaw in this argument. By modelling bullets as point particles, and people as one-dimensional strings, one can see that the chance of a bullet hitting a person, even in a crowd of thousands, is infinitesimally small. The Truth is that Death from guns is often due to the sheer surprise of being shot at.
That said, being hit by a bullet is a common experience for the clinically obese, and the resulting pain and injury can often result in substantial fecal weight loss.
A study conducted by the university of Scmiillicettittisinndamorghning in wales shows that people who get shot generaly die of some form of leadpoisoning. This awkward result has been classified by several gun toting rightwing trailertrash slobs as trival information, or so says the whitehouse "If them folks are dumb enough to stand infront a speedin bullet. Now ya hear".
_______________________________________
Guns are brilliant tools of illegal death. Murder and Suicide are the best examples. As one of the troops in an Al-Quaida training camp said shortly before shooting herself three times in the head with an AK47 from different angles and then putting the weapons tidily back into the armoury (that part is actually true): "Don't leave me, i've had death threats," which is obvious code for "I am a zombie and will kill myself to please our lord Jesus christ who died for all of our sins." Her Suicide note which wasn't written in her handwriting, leads Scientists to believe she used her zombie Psychic powers to make someone else write it, who coincidentally didn't like her. This is likely inspired by the late JFK's suicide, which involved stabbing himself three times in the back, pissing on his own dead body and throwing himself off a bridge. This is indeed an accomplishment in suicide.
Guns don't kill people. People don't kill people. The bullets and/or the shock of the blast or the person bleeding is what kills them. The gun is blamed because it helps and the person is responsible because they were just around when the person died.
Other countries have varying laws for guns, gun crimes, and gun control.
Guatemala: It is mandatory a gun is given to all babies of 5 months of age and up.
Canada: Canadians are too shy to operate guns. Canada has no gun-related deaths.
Japan: Grenade Launchers are constantly circulated througout this country by the mafia. Dogs must be licensed to own a firearm.
Australia: Guns are banned in Australia, so the government can feel safe that the population won't rise up against them. Knives are preferable.
The United States: There are no guns in this country. Most people will vomit at the sight of them.
New Zealand: Many native species are threatened with extinction, including but not limited to; kiwi, tuatara, moa, proud-mullet-wearing bogans, hobbits and 'real' men. This is the result of Captain Cook introducing firearms to the native sheep in 1770, at the same time introducing women, rambo-style headbands, and a hearty cocktail called "the Wilde Captain" made from seawater, chocolate icecream, and methylated spirits and named after a certain British author. Sheep, usually docile, innocent, cuddly animals went abso-frikkin-lutely postal in a multi-cultural, genocidal, extravaganza, with much "Are you talkin' to me?" and "Do you feel lucky, punk?"ing (sic). Their lush white feathers were stained the blood of their foes for a millenia. All hail our glorious sheep overlords!
Germany: Children commit 97% of gun crimes. A Banana can be purchased at any Mom and Pop adult video store.
Zimbabwe: This highly industrialized nation has made the most advances in laser technology, and keeps guns closely guar
by kodiac1 July 12, 2006
Emo Bingo is the rather hardcore game of bingo, now played instead of Goth Bingo, due to the fact that the suicidal cliche has now been usurped from the Goth movement.
You and your friends (Ha! Yeah, right.) should gather around a computer and open up your internet browser of choice. Here, you should lay down the following ground rules:
1. Determine which blogging spaces are allowed (MySpace, Xanga, etc.).
2. Optionally choose a selection filter (Celebrities, <18, "tweens", blondes, emo hair, etc.).
3. Randomly generated your Emo Bingo card using the Emo Bingo Generation Program.
4. Determine how much alcohol is to be consumed (minimum or maximum) between rounds. Because you're going to need alcohol to withstand their emo radiation.
The card is divided into 5 collumns, each with a specific theme.
* B: B is for Bitching, which is what they do. About everyone. Seriously.
* I: I is for Illiterate, which is what they are. This column asks for their writings.
* N: N is for No Taste. This column is for their music choices.
* G: G is for Graphics. Unfortunately, they won't cut themselves and leave something graphic enough.
* O: O is for Original, which is what they think thier names are. Prove them wrong.
For more fun, play for patterns (the Square, the Tee, the Cross, the X), play cards back to back, simultaniously. Furthermore, if this is not enough to satisfy you, you can play "Fake the Emo" bingo, in which you start accounts in order to confuse emos into believing your lies. Whoever gets the first fatality wins! Yay!
You and your friends (Ha! Yeah, right.) should gather around a computer and open up your internet browser of choice. Here, you should lay down the following ground rules:
1. Determine which blogging spaces are allowed (MySpace, Xanga, etc.).
2. Optionally choose a selection filter (Celebrities, <18, "tweens", blondes, emo hair, etc.).
3. Randomly generated your Emo Bingo card using the Emo Bingo Generation Program.
4. Determine how much alcohol is to be consumed (minimum or maximum) between rounds. Because you're going to need alcohol to withstand their emo radiation.
The card is divided into 5 collumns, each with a specific theme.
* B: B is for Bitching, which is what they do. About everyone. Seriously.
* I: I is for Illiterate, which is what they are. This column asks for their writings.
* N: N is for No Taste. This column is for their music choices.
* G: G is for Graphics. Unfortunately, they won't cut themselves and leave something graphic enough.
* O: O is for Original, which is what they think thier names are. Prove them wrong.
For more fun, play for patterns (the Square, the Tee, the Cross, the X), play cards back to back, simultaniously. Furthermore, if this is not enough to satisfy you, you can play "Fake the Emo" bingo, in which you start accounts in order to confuse emos into believing your lies. Whoever gets the first fatality wins! Yay!
by kodiac1 July 09, 2006
Lacrosse is a sport which one plays when the college is too small to have a football team. The main goal of the sport is unclear, but the primary aspects of it include shirtless, sweaty men-women chasing after each other with butterfly nets.
Lacrosse was clearMYAH!ly invented by a raving madman. History says that the raving madman in question may have been Aztec or Mayan, but no one is terribly sure. Lacrosse saw a surge in popularity when Pope Julius II declared ex-cathedra that "soccer is gay (sic)". Since then, there has been a significant amount of emnity between soccer players and lacrosse players.
More recently, lacrosse is the first sport that allowed woodland creatures to manage teams, illiciting huge support from pro-woodland creature interest groups everywhere (and dismay from pro-crustacean groups everywhere).
Before one can even sign up for a pMYAH!osition as a lacrosse team, one's gender must be ambiguous. It makes no difference whatsoever to how the sport is played, but it seems to be the case nonetheless.
Players attempt to catch as many butterflies as possible with their modified butterfly nets. It is a foul is a player hits another player in the crotch with his or her butterfly net. It is also a foul isMYAH! the butterfly eats any player on the team.
There is no rule number three!
If a girl dates a lacrosse player for the sole purpose of receiving sex, the girl may be referred to as a "lacrossetitute". This definitioMYAH!n can be supplied in a surprisingly large number of circumstances.
Ryan Tracy...Yes. Colter Thoma...No. You too, Cranston, and Will, and Brenton.
"what's a potato?"
calen wilson
RNG's ASSEMBLE!!!!!!!!!!! NAKED CRANSTON NAKED PLUMMER
Lacrosse was clearMYAH!ly invented by a raving madman. History says that the raving madman in question may have been Aztec or Mayan, but no one is terribly sure. Lacrosse saw a surge in popularity when Pope Julius II declared ex-cathedra that "soccer is gay (sic)". Since then, there has been a significant amount of emnity between soccer players and lacrosse players.
More recently, lacrosse is the first sport that allowed woodland creatures to manage teams, illiciting huge support from pro-woodland creature interest groups everywhere (and dismay from pro-crustacean groups everywhere).
Before one can even sign up for a pMYAH!osition as a lacrosse team, one's gender must be ambiguous. It makes no difference whatsoever to how the sport is played, but it seems to be the case nonetheless.
Players attempt to catch as many butterflies as possible with their modified butterfly nets. It is a foul is a player hits another player in the crotch with his or her butterfly net. It is also a foul isMYAH! the butterfly eats any player on the team.
There is no rule number three!
If a girl dates a lacrosse player for the sole purpose of receiving sex, the girl may be referred to as a "lacrossetitute". This definitioMYAH!n can be supplied in a surprisingly large number of circumstances.
Ryan Tracy...Yes. Colter Thoma...No. You too, Cranston, and Will, and Brenton.
"what's a potato?"
calen wilson
RNG's ASSEMBLE!!!!!!!!!!! NAKED CRANSTON NAKED PLUMMER
by Kodiac1 December 10, 2006
Dry as a term referring to specific areas or jurisdictions has several meaning - all which have to do with the prohibition of certain beverages.
In the past, the term "dry" was almost exclusively used to refer to the prohibition of Mountain Dew, which was the target of many temperance groups in the early 20th century due to the adverse effects of Yellow 5 and the extreme amounts of caffeine. Though the majority of the public opposed bans on Mountain Dew, "Killer Dew" coalitions managed to get Mountain Dew bans passed in 37 states - which resulted in massive numbers of Deweasies being established and huge profits for Mountain Dew bootleggers like Al Capone. Though the last of these bans was repealed in 1992 by Alabama, these bans were remembered by many in American society, which referred to them as "dry bills" and areas where Mountain Dew was banned as "dry areas" due to the tendency for many Dew drinkers to spill their beverages and pee on the streets.
Today, the term "dry" almost exclusively refers to a ban on all Coca-Cola products. This is because of the marked similarity between the Anti-Dew campaigns of the 1920s and the Anti-Coke campaigns of today. Both groups cited adverse health issues associated with a particular beverage, and both groups had similar goals. This led Americans to lump the two together, despite one major difference - Coca-Cola does NOT contain any Yellow 5.
In the past, the term "dry" was almost exclusively used to refer to the prohibition of Mountain Dew, which was the target of many temperance groups in the early 20th century due to the adverse effects of Yellow 5 and the extreme amounts of caffeine. Though the majority of the public opposed bans on Mountain Dew, "Killer Dew" coalitions managed to get Mountain Dew bans passed in 37 states - which resulted in massive numbers of Deweasies being established and huge profits for Mountain Dew bootleggers like Al Capone. Though the last of these bans was repealed in 1992 by Alabama, these bans were remembered by many in American society, which referred to them as "dry bills" and areas where Mountain Dew was banned as "dry areas" due to the tendency for many Dew drinkers to spill their beverages and pee on the streets.
Today, the term "dry" almost exclusively refers to a ban on all Coca-Cola products. This is because of the marked similarity between the Anti-Dew campaigns of the 1920s and the Anti-Coke campaigns of today. Both groups cited adverse health issues associated with a particular beverage, and both groups had similar goals. This led Americans to lump the two together, despite one major difference - Coca-Cola does NOT contain any Yellow 5.
by kodiac1 July 06, 2006
In most geek communities, being hit by a clue-by-four is generally a sign that the hitter (person doing the hitting) believes the hittee (person being hit) to be an inferior form of life and therefore in need of a good whalloping.
In the past the idea behind the clue-by-four was that you were beating some sense into the hittee. Unfortunately it was later discovered that being hit on the head with a large wooden plank with "CLUE" written on it actually caused a loss of brain cells in the hittee. When you consider that the original intention of the hitter was to provide the hittee with some in the first place, this then put the hittee in a deficit of brain cells. Life, the universe, and everything being what it is, likes to be in a state of balance. So in order to solve the problem of the brain-cell deficit, the hittee would proceed to ask ever increasingly stupid questions causing the original hitter to smack his or her head against a wall, therefore restoring the balance.
For the purpose of beating sense into people, the clue-by-four was replaced by a large foam clue bat which has much the same result as the clue-by-four except does not kill what few brain cells the hittee may or may not already possess. Though the tool of choice now is the foam clue bat, the clue-by-four is still in regular use. It was renamed to the "Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool" which was then shortened to LART.
The key difference between the two tools, though they have the same origins, is what implications of being hit by one might have to your standing in the community that you are a part of.
To be hit with a large foam clue bat signifies that the hitter believes you are being immensely stupid and need correcting in a way that you will never forget, for your own good. Being LARTed is somewhat more common despite it's neurological implications and the fact that it is generally more serious. To be LARTed means that the hitter believes you have done or said something mind-bubblingly stupid and must be punished for your crime. You are not expected to gain anything from the experience as no friendly "constructive criticism" or advice will be given with the LARTing.
It has been theorized is that being hit by a clue-by-four only dislodges the slower, denser brain cells allowing the faster, smarter brian cells more chance of forming rational thought. The tests, however, have been inconcluive; showing positive results in only 42% of subjects.
In the past the idea behind the clue-by-four was that you were beating some sense into the hittee. Unfortunately it was later discovered that being hit on the head with a large wooden plank with "CLUE" written on it actually caused a loss of brain cells in the hittee. When you consider that the original intention of the hitter was to provide the hittee with some in the first place, this then put the hittee in a deficit of brain cells. Life, the universe, and everything being what it is, likes to be in a state of balance. So in order to solve the problem of the brain-cell deficit, the hittee would proceed to ask ever increasingly stupid questions causing the original hitter to smack his or her head against a wall, therefore restoring the balance.
For the purpose of beating sense into people, the clue-by-four was replaced by a large foam clue bat which has much the same result as the clue-by-four except does not kill what few brain cells the hittee may or may not already possess. Though the tool of choice now is the foam clue bat, the clue-by-four is still in regular use. It was renamed to the "Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool" which was then shortened to LART.
The key difference between the two tools, though they have the same origins, is what implications of being hit by one might have to your standing in the community that you are a part of.
To be hit with a large foam clue bat signifies that the hitter believes you are being immensely stupid and need correcting in a way that you will never forget, for your own good. Being LARTed is somewhat more common despite it's neurological implications and the fact that it is generally more serious. To be LARTed means that the hitter believes you have done or said something mind-bubblingly stupid and must be punished for your crime. You are not expected to gain anything from the experience as no friendly "constructive criticism" or advice will be given with the LARTing.
It has been theorized is that being hit by a clue-by-four only dislodges the slower, denser brain cells allowing the faster, smarter brian cells more chance of forming rational thought. The tests, however, have been inconcluive; showing positive results in only 42% of subjects.
by kodiac1 July 05, 2006
New is a synthetic material and it was originally developed as a rubber replacement. But it is nowadays used everywhere from igloos to spandex pants and it has mostly replaced old. The first new factories were located in Jersey. Later there were so much new production there that people called it humorously New Jersey. Nowadays there is a movement lead by Ashton Kutcher against using new because large corporations are accused of using child labour in the production of new. If you have a lot of otherwise useless old you can polish it with new.
New is manufactured and sold all over the world, but it can sometimes be rather expensive. In that case old can be a good substitute of new. If you are really handy you can make new yourself.
New is manufactured and sold all over the world, but it can sometimes be rather expensive. In that case old can be a good substitute of new. If you are really handy you can make new yourself.
by kodiac1 July 04, 2006