papercut 

1. A cut from paper.
2. What people use as an excuse when they cut their wrists but fail to kill themselves.
3. The first track of Linkin Park's album Hybrid Theory.

1. I got a papercut at school.
2. I asked him about his wrists, he said "Papercut."
3. I listened to "Papercut."

papercut by anonymous April 16, 2005

Papercut 

Papercuts are deadly and should be avoided at all times. They are an infamous happening throughout the world, with an increasing occurance rate in Asia. Paper Cuts is a rocking Nirvana song off the Bleach album.

* The first recorded recorded incident of a paper cut was 1240 AD, when an English monk pulled out a bible too quickly. The Book of Psalms flew out of the book and slid across his arm. "Damneth thine verses; I smiteth thee!" and other various curses were heard throughout the monestary.
* 1492 - Columbus sets out to the Americas. Returns from trip bearing gifts, King Ferdinand is angered when a scroll injures him.
* Ten years later, the King perishes due to internal bleeding after swallowing a secret message.
* March of 1865, Portugal bans paper from the country. Unfortunately, this was impossible, as the paperwork to be signed was sent out of the country.
* 1998 - Wisconsin Elementary student Mark Gifadet perfects his paper airplane design; plans for world domination fail when his teacher is struck through the heart with the plane.
* Late 2005 - Cheney is put through hospitalization after Sharkboy throws toilet paper rolls at him.

What to do if Papercutted

Papercuts happen no matter what you do to avoid them. If you are in the wild or bush and receive a papercut you must immediatly flush the wound with urine and fill the cavity of the cut with leper semen. This with stave off death for half an hour. Hobble off to the nearest stream and ritually wash yourself. It's the best you can do.

If you are in the proper facilities, then follow these instructions to heal yourself.

1. Sit in a comfortable position
2. Wait, sorry. Fetch a ladle and a laser printer
3. Resume your previous position
4. Take apart the printer and mash it to the consistancy of marmelade
5. Using the ladle, apply the printer juice to the area around the wound
6. Let the wound sit for 2-3 hours

Don't forget that it's always better to avoid such accidents than to have to treat them.

A Cure

Scientists in the Ukraine are currently working on a cure for papercuts; so far there has been great progress. Lead scientists across the nation banded together and put their collective efforts to one project. Pills are in the making, and a protective suit prototype is in testing.

“SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!”

~ Oscar Wilde on papercuts

Papercut by kodiac1 July 6, 2006

papercut 

a good song

LP rules

papercut by Luka October 26, 2003

papercut 

The most painful thing a living thing can ever experience.

Fred: HOLY FUCKING SHIT I'M GONNA DIE I JUST GOT A PAPERCUT

John: You'll be fi-

John: Holy shit.

papercut by plantification December 1, 2022

papercut 

what you get when the paper is being a bully

ooOoOoowie I got a fukin papercuttttt
oh the paaaain
call an ambulanc

papercut by dj crackpot November 23, 2018

Papercut 

Euphemism for a very small vaginal opening.

The size of Nigel's member was clearly causing her papercut to tear.

Papercut by Mr Spanky Pants August 7, 2006

Papercut 

A random trend someone in your class made up

"I am a papercut survivor"

Papercut by EchoPod February 8, 2017