kodiac1's definitions
x64 is a part of the lost Ultimate Question to Life, the Universe and Everything, to which the answer is 42.
It all started when AMD attempted to uncover the Ultimate Question, despite the version of the Uncertainty Principle (discovered by Douglas Adams) which stated that the Ultimate Question and the Ultimate Answer cannot be known in the same universe. So far, the only known part of the Ultimate Question was "x86".
To accomplish this task, AMD constructed a marketing hoax called Opteron, a hoax so wise that it was often mistaken for a processor (or a decepticon). After several years of promotion, during which nobody actually saw Opteron, it was calculated that the "x86" part of the Ultimate Question is correct, and another part was discovered, so the result was elongated to "x86-64". AMD proudly patented this nonsense by the name of AMD64.
Meanwhile, Intel has been performing its own calculations of the Ultimate Question and Answer. At first it appeared that the assumption of the Ultimate Question being 42 was incorrect, and in fact it was 32. Windows operated, albeit not successfully enough, under that assumption. Intel admitted that x86 is indeed a part of the Ultimate Question, but did not acknowledge the "-64" addition, for it had already been pushing its own "IA-64" architecture (see Itanium), not compatible with x86, which Intel preferred to call "IA-32". Well, actually it was compatible, if you were satisfied with Half-Life 2 producing 0.1 FPS, but it turned out that this was not the compatibility people were looking for.
Eventually, after the introduction of Athlon 64—oddly enough, a real processor this time—Intel reconsidered. They found nothing better than to pretend that x86-64 spport was always in their Pentiums, but AMD stole it all and called it AMD64. And of course, they found nothing better than to introduce yet another name. Since IA-64 was taken, they used a randomly generated abbreviation, namely EM64T. Each EM64T processor shipped with a sticker that read, "People, we know IA-64 was a mistake. Honest. Just buy our processor and not AMD's, pleeease!"
For Microsoft, this was not sufficient. At first, they were with Intel, as they always had been, but they thought that between IA-64, x86-64, AMD64 and EM64T, customers would not understand the advantages of the new approach. So x64 was introduced to replace "x86-64" in the Ultimate Question, as a matter of political correctness between AMD and Intel. It allowed Microsoft to finally, using a cluster of Opterons, Xeons and other nonexistent (for the common user) processors, reverse engineer the Ultimate Equation:
0.65625x64=42
Some people still call it x86-64, though, despite the fact that the Ultimate Equation becomes infinite with such an approach. But don't worry, these include just some insignificant individuals, like Linus Torvalds. It's barely noteworthy on Wikipedia.
And in the end, all Microsoft wrought is perhaps convincing people that x86 is better than x64, because it's larger.
It all started when AMD attempted to uncover the Ultimate Question, despite the version of the Uncertainty Principle (discovered by Douglas Adams) which stated that the Ultimate Question and the Ultimate Answer cannot be known in the same universe. So far, the only known part of the Ultimate Question was "x86".
To accomplish this task, AMD constructed a marketing hoax called Opteron, a hoax so wise that it was often mistaken for a processor (or a decepticon). After several years of promotion, during which nobody actually saw Opteron, it was calculated that the "x86" part of the Ultimate Question is correct, and another part was discovered, so the result was elongated to "x86-64". AMD proudly patented this nonsense by the name of AMD64.
Meanwhile, Intel has been performing its own calculations of the Ultimate Question and Answer. At first it appeared that the assumption of the Ultimate Question being 42 was incorrect, and in fact it was 32. Windows operated, albeit not successfully enough, under that assumption. Intel admitted that x86 is indeed a part of the Ultimate Question, but did not acknowledge the "-64" addition, for it had already been pushing its own "IA-64" architecture (see Itanium), not compatible with x86, which Intel preferred to call "IA-32". Well, actually it was compatible, if you were satisfied with Half-Life 2 producing 0.1 FPS, but it turned out that this was not the compatibility people were looking for.
Eventually, after the introduction of Athlon 64—oddly enough, a real processor this time—Intel reconsidered. They found nothing better than to pretend that x86-64 spport was always in their Pentiums, but AMD stole it all and called it AMD64. And of course, they found nothing better than to introduce yet another name. Since IA-64 was taken, they used a randomly generated abbreviation, namely EM64T. Each EM64T processor shipped with a sticker that read, "People, we know IA-64 was a mistake. Honest. Just buy our processor and not AMD's, pleeease!"
For Microsoft, this was not sufficient. At first, they were with Intel, as they always had been, but they thought that between IA-64, x86-64, AMD64 and EM64T, customers would not understand the advantages of the new approach. So x64 was introduced to replace "x86-64" in the Ultimate Question, as a matter of political correctness between AMD and Intel. It allowed Microsoft to finally, using a cluster of Opterons, Xeons and other nonexistent (for the common user) processors, reverse engineer the Ultimate Equation:
0.65625x64=42
Some people still call it x86-64, though, despite the fact that the Ultimate Equation becomes infinite with such an approach. But don't worry, these include just some insignificant individuals, like Linus Torvalds. It's barely noteworthy on Wikipedia.
And in the end, all Microsoft wrought is perhaps convincing people that x86 is better than x64, because it's larger.
“May they burn in hell, AMD and Intel alike, for not discovering it in the first place.”
~ Oscar Wilde on x64
~ Oscar Wilde on x64
by kodiac1 July 4, 2006
Get the x64mug. Static Electricity was discovered in an incredibly large box by 4 Tax Collectors. So far, almost 3 applications have been found for it.
In the olden days it was used to drain the colour out of the world, and make everyone walk too fast.
These days however, it is mainly used for Special Effects, used in such films as The Blair Witch Project.
In 600 BC it was discovered that rubbing a piece of amber with cat fur would cause it to attract small pieces of paper. This discovery led to the invention of the first apparatus for the mass production of static electricity, in which a number of cats are attached to the rim of a rotating wheel, aligned such that their fur comes into contact with a specially shaped block of amber.
Maintenance of the device proved to be almost impossible as any engineer attempting to remove the wheel from its mountings would be instantly lacerated by the sharp claws of the highly charged cats, so the 17th century German scientist Otto von Guericke improved on the design by replacing the cats with balls of sulphur.
By this time the uses for static electricity were growing in number and variety, and maintaining the supply of cats and sulphur presented great problems. A method of storing and transporting static electricity was clearly needed.
Early attempts to use cardboard boxes for this job proved unreliable and dangerous, as the electricity would leak from the bottom of the box and cause contamination of the ground. This proved especially problematic for sheep farmers as the escaped electricity would cause the sheeps' wool to stand on end. Any slight breeze would pick up the sheep and carry them for miles, much like a dandelion seed.
Enter the Dutch physicist Pieter van Musschenbroek who hit upon the revolutionary idea of storing the electricity in a bottle. This proved much more reliable because a simple cork could be used to prevent the electricity from spilling out. His invention was titled the Leyden jar because nobody could remember how to spell "van Musschenbroek".
In the olden days it was used to drain the colour out of the world, and make everyone walk too fast.
These days however, it is mainly used for Special Effects, used in such films as The Blair Witch Project.
In 600 BC it was discovered that rubbing a piece of amber with cat fur would cause it to attract small pieces of paper. This discovery led to the invention of the first apparatus for the mass production of static electricity, in which a number of cats are attached to the rim of a rotating wheel, aligned such that their fur comes into contact with a specially shaped block of amber.
Maintenance of the device proved to be almost impossible as any engineer attempting to remove the wheel from its mountings would be instantly lacerated by the sharp claws of the highly charged cats, so the 17th century German scientist Otto von Guericke improved on the design by replacing the cats with balls of sulphur.
By this time the uses for static electricity were growing in number and variety, and maintaining the supply of cats and sulphur presented great problems. A method of storing and transporting static electricity was clearly needed.
Early attempts to use cardboard boxes for this job proved unreliable and dangerous, as the electricity would leak from the bottom of the box and cause contamination of the ground. This proved especially problematic for sheep farmers as the escaped electricity would cause the sheeps' wool to stand on end. Any slight breeze would pick up the sheep and carry them for miles, much like a dandelion seed.
Enter the Dutch physicist Pieter van Musschenbroek who hit upon the revolutionary idea of storing the electricity in a bottle. This proved much more reliable because a simple cork could be used to prevent the electricity from spilling out. His invention was titled the Leyden jar because nobody could remember how to spell "van Musschenbroek".
by kodiac1 July 3, 2006
Get the Static electricitymug. American Jokes are jokes which are not made in America. Yet, these jokes can be made in America, but apart from America, they can also be made in China, Hong Kong SAR, Indonesia, Ethiopia, North Pole, Mars, Venus, Jupiter, the Sun...... wherever place you can think of which allow people to live. American Jokes are simply abbreviated as "AJ", which, obviously, comes from its original name American Joke.
So how did American Jokes become jokes? Once upon a time, there was a place named Quality College where students were capable of making very bad jokes. Those jokes are definitely totally utterly not funny at all, but students just loved making those cold jokes. One day, someone suddenly gave these bad jokes a name, AMERICAN JOKE.
It was rumoured that the term American Joke was invented by a student named "Sir iohC niwdE". Such a term was efficiently spread away by another fellow "A ginM", "maL noraA", "eeL ynneB" and "nhoJ osT". They are the founders of the "American Joke Society" (abbr. AJs), which is one of the biggest AJ as well.
Recently, the rumour was proved to be false. Yet, the rumour still remains to be one of the top AJ recently.
That is why these jokes are called American Jokes nowadays. But in fact no one can really explain how America is connected to those Jokes, or since when has American become a joke. Anyway, the name itself demonstrates the true meaning of the American Joke. It is that, a joke which is expected to be a joke, a joke which is formally a joke, a joke which is supposed to make others laugh, but at the end not being so "joky" as expected at all. Do you find the term American Joke a joke?
However, as students were becoming lazier and lazier, they eventually found the term American Joke too clumsy to pronunce. Instead, they gave this term another shorter version: simply known as AJ. Due to the simplicity of such a term and its effectiveness in preventing people from producing endless meaningless non-interesting yet troublesome dead-airing cold jokes, it was quickly spread among the community that nowadays every one knows about "AJ".
So how did American Jokes become jokes? Once upon a time, there was a place named Quality College where students were capable of making very bad jokes. Those jokes are definitely totally utterly not funny at all, but students just loved making those cold jokes. One day, someone suddenly gave these bad jokes a name, AMERICAN JOKE.
It was rumoured that the term American Joke was invented by a student named "Sir iohC niwdE". Such a term was efficiently spread away by another fellow "A ginM", "maL noraA", "eeL ynneB" and "nhoJ osT". They are the founders of the "American Joke Society" (abbr. AJs), which is one of the biggest AJ as well.
Recently, the rumour was proved to be false. Yet, the rumour still remains to be one of the top AJ recently.
That is why these jokes are called American Jokes nowadays. But in fact no one can really explain how America is connected to those Jokes, or since when has American become a joke. Anyway, the name itself demonstrates the true meaning of the American Joke. It is that, a joke which is expected to be a joke, a joke which is formally a joke, a joke which is supposed to make others laugh, but at the end not being so "joky" as expected at all. Do you find the term American Joke a joke?
However, as students were becoming lazier and lazier, they eventually found the term American Joke too clumsy to pronunce. Instead, they gave this term another shorter version: simply known as AJ. Due to the simplicity of such a term and its effectiveness in preventing people from producing endless meaningless non-interesting yet troublesome dead-airing cold jokes, it was quickly spread among the community that nowadays every one knows about "AJ".
Here are some practical daily examples of American Joke:
1. "American Jokes are good jokes."
2. "Fine, thank you."
"You too."
"You three."
"You four five six seven eight......"
3. "Today I accidentally crashed into John and BJ."
"Oh really? Does it hurt?"
4. "John, congratulations for winning the champion. You are now the Macau Shooting Star!"
"Macau Shooting Star? Does that mean I can shoot stars in Macau? How do I shoot them?"
5. "BJ who is a DJ loves AJ."
There are too many examples to be named. Please be kind to add in your own version of American Jokes and they better are your own creations. The world of American Jokes should not contain any boundary.
1. "American Jokes are good jokes."
2. "Fine, thank you."
"You too."
"You three."
"You four five six seven eight......"
3. "Today I accidentally crashed into John and BJ."
"Oh really? Does it hurt?"
4. "John, congratulations for winning the champion. You are now the Macau Shooting Star!"
"Macau Shooting Star? Does that mean I can shoot stars in Macau? How do I shoot them?"
5. "BJ who is a DJ loves AJ."
There are too many examples to be named. Please be kind to add in your own version of American Jokes and they better are your own creations. The world of American Jokes should not contain any boundary.
by kodiac1 July 4, 2006
Get the American Jokemug. "B.R.A.D P.I.T.T" was the codename given to one of the A merican Government's cyborgs that they used to infiltrate hollywood. They used them to target members of the acting community who posed a threat to their empire, or who appeared to inspire too much conflict in the American Population, regarding their laws and rule.
"Bionic Robot Aiming for Directors, Picking out Individuals and Terminating Them" was designed to dispose of anybody in the media who posed a threat to the US governemnt
Not to be confused with the T.O.M.C.R.U.I.S.E a cyborg from the United States Tourism Board that was the result of sponsored research conducted by the famous Palo Alto (from the Hopi Indian words for White and High) research facility into the effects of wood alcohol on congnitive functioning in mid level project managers.
Needless to say that after 13.25 months and $15 Billion in Defense department funding the prototype was found to be redundant due to the unrecognized flaw in the Project Managers strategy, that is the collapse of the Evil Empire...
Tiresome Ovid Machine Construct Rarely Used In Side Europe
"Bionic Robot Aiming for Directors, Picking out Individuals and Terminating Them" was designed to dispose of anybody in the media who posed a threat to the US governemnt
Not to be confused with the T.O.M.C.R.U.I.S.E a cyborg from the United States Tourism Board that was the result of sponsored research conducted by the famous Palo Alto (from the Hopi Indian words for White and High) research facility into the effects of wood alcohol on congnitive functioning in mid level project managers.
Needless to say that after 13.25 months and $15 Billion in Defense department funding the prototype was found to be redundant due to the unrecognized flaw in the Project Managers strategy, that is the collapse of the Evil Empire...
Tiresome Ovid Machine Construct Rarely Used In Side Europe
by kodiac1 July 4, 2006
Get the Brad Pittmug. Baby Oil is fat extracted from undeveloped human sources, known as babies.
Like all fats, baby oils are insoluble in water but soluble in cheap vodka.
Oils extracted from minors have been used in many cultures, since ancient times. As an example, a 4000 year old "kitchen" unearthed in Liverpool was found to include an oil press and a large quantity of discarded child-husks. Archeologists believe that the tribes of Ancient Scouse would raise children as a source of cheap fuel.
The uses of baby oils can be divided into three main areas:
* Lubrication
* Fuel
* Threatening Children
Extracting Baby Oil:
* The "traditional" way of extracting baby oil uses several different types of mechanical extraction. This method is preferred by most Eco-Freakies in the USA and in Europe. Cheesegrater extraction is one type, and there are two other types that are both oil presses: the screw press and the ram press. Oil presses are commonly used in developing countries, among people for whom other extraction methods would be prohibitively expensive.
* The "modern" way of acquiring baby oil is by chemical extraction, using solvent extracts, which produces higher yields and is quicker and less messy. The most common solvent is Sunny Delight. This disolves the baby from the inside out, and it is then simple to seperate the oil from the solvent.
Like all fats, baby oils are insoluble in water but soluble in cheap vodka.
Oils extracted from minors have been used in many cultures, since ancient times. As an example, a 4000 year old "kitchen" unearthed in Liverpool was found to include an oil press and a large quantity of discarded child-husks. Archeologists believe that the tribes of Ancient Scouse would raise children as a source of cheap fuel.
The uses of baby oils can be divided into three main areas:
* Lubrication
* Fuel
* Threatening Children
Extracting Baby Oil:
* The "traditional" way of extracting baby oil uses several different types of mechanical extraction. This method is preferred by most Eco-Freakies in the USA and in Europe. Cheesegrater extraction is one type, and there are two other types that are both oil presses: the screw press and the ram press. Oil presses are commonly used in developing countries, among people for whom other extraction methods would be prohibitively expensive.
* The "modern" way of acquiring baby oil is by chemical extraction, using solvent extracts, which produces higher yields and is quicker and less messy. The most common solvent is Sunny Delight. This disolves the baby from the inside out, and it is then simple to seperate the oil from the solvent.
by kodiac1 July 6, 2006
Get the Baby Oilmug. Fictional rock is a genre of music invented by the Japanese played entirely with drums and is named after the fiction created by them.
Only four entities play fictional rock, the first is a Monkey and the other three are the members of the band The Three Steves. But don't tell Steve Ballmer we said that or he'll fucking kill us.
Only four entities play fictional rock, the first is a Monkey and the other three are the members of the band The Three Steves. But don't tell Steve Ballmer we said that or he'll fucking kill us.
by kodiac1 July 6, 2006
Get the Fictional rockmug. Bah! Doom is here to prove that Athens, early Rome, and all three George W.'s (George Washington, George W Bush, and his father) all had their heads on backwards and their eyes twirled toward non-existant gophers.
1st Fundemental Flaw: People Are Like Monkeys: they're bananas.
Minor Elections
1. Exactly 5 people in any given general election know who any candidates are other than the presidential candidates.
2. Those five people know who other candidates are because they are physically unable to stop watching television, and thus cannot rise and vote anyway.
3. And nobody else cares about local politics.
4. Yet local elections still take a fair turnout. Why? Imagine you walk into a room expecting to eat a hot dog. And so you do. But after eating the hot dog, you turn to find the door locked. You look around and find the room completely white, and so unremarkable that you immediately collapse into explosive boredom, prepared to go insane from sensory deprivation. But wait. There is something you can do. Somebody has left you two check boxes and a pencil. Could be fun to check one of them. OOh! That was fun! Let's do it again! Check! Check! Check! Check! Check! Check!
And that's all the thought that goes into voting for a minor office.
1. Now that we're in a childish fantasy world of escaping madness by checking boxes, let's look at the things in the boxes. There are two methods: pick your favorite color, or go with the funniest sounding words. Think about it. Wouldn't you rather vote for Aquamarine Freznit Kerblinkipot!!!! than Bill Gray...
Major Elections
1. A person's choice in a major election is determined solely by:
whether the person prefers eating deer, or petting deer. or "I'll change my opinion if either of you offers me a cheap Chevy Suburban."
This is vastly different than Doom's preference of hooking cybernetic warmachines and maybe a vampire to a deer.
Flaw #2. Why elections don't matter anyway.
Say Congressman A is elected to represent party B, which opposes party C.
1. Congressman A does all he can to meet the interest of those corporations (and individuals, if you really believe that) that he can in party B.
2. Congressman A can't do too much, because congressman D, who represents party C, has devised a system in which every action Congressman A attempts is, instead of being debated in congress, thrown to the judicial or executive houses, which party C controlls. And thus you might as well have elected congressman D, so something at least can pass.
3. But even if you'd have voted for Mr. D, your vote would have been lost in the shady bowels of a voting machine manufactured by members of party B.
4. And in the event of significant political pressure, Mr. A will be more than happy at any rate to call himself a "moderate" and swing over to party C for moral reasons.
The Amazing, Spectacular Alternative of Dictatorship!
1. So you don't care who gets elected locally? Neither does Doom! Anybody can represent my explicit, iron will when I threaten their life!
2. Your political inclination may be shallowly motivated, but Doom has all sorts of good reasons why I should rule every aspect of your lives! And mine is the opinion that counts!
3. No congressmen will waste time bickering when Doom gives an order! You'll build that giant statue of me on your house's roof, or I'm injecting flesh eating robots under your skin, locking you inside your house, burning it down, and then building a statue of me on your roof. See, no tricky political loopholes there!
4. Political appearance. Imagine your average political debate on TV or your average senate meeting or what have you. Nothing but old people in suits arguing with each other. Now imagine Doom there. Doom is wearing high tech power armor and a cape, ranting in third person, and shooting lasers at whoever dares to disagree with the majesty that is Doom. Doesn't that make for more entertaining politics?
But wait, there's more!
Why settle for mere Dictatorship when you can get a Totalitarian, Oppressive, Militaristic Regime lead by a Dictator for the same price, that is, your total and unwavering obediance!
"But what's so good about a Totalitarian, Oppressive, Militaristic Regime lead by a Dictator?" you ask?
What's good is that if you question my authority again, nobody will ever find your body! But let me show you what's good:
1. Tired of having to make all those icky and hard decisions? Never again when Doom applies his special remedy, a mandatory nationwide 30 year draft of children 6 years old and up! Never will you have to make a desicion because when you serve in the Doom army, thinking is a death penalty, and we know, oh we know.
2. A thief in your house? Stole all your valubles? Worry no more, crimes like these will be no more when Doom takes away all your property and possessions and puts them under control of the government, and if someone did steal from you, you'd best not complain because then we'll know, and if we know, you know no more.
3. Tired of waking up to the sound of protest? Just want to kill those stupid, filthy, disgusting hippies? Worry no more, a nationwide death penalty against Liberalism will cure those pro-"free thinking" douchebags.
4. Never worry about abortion any more. Obviously, a woman who needs an abortion is a whore. If she wants her fetus killed, the government will assist her by executing her and then the baby will die with her. Either that or we'll turn them both into killer cyborgs and wipe their minds clean so they won't remember their past.
5. Education, everyone will get a free education equally. Everyone is subject to brainwashing and mind wiping before they become a killer cyborg in our military. Since we draft everyone from age six and up, they all get a free education in our military.
6. Religion, no doubts about it, everyone will have religion as everyone must worship Dr. Doom as a god. When you are brainwashed and mind wiped, you will be programmed to worship Dr. Doom anyway. Are you a die-hard militant Atheist? It does not matter as you will be converted to Doomism anyway whether you like it or not, and you will be programmed to like it.
1st Fundemental Flaw: People Are Like Monkeys: they're bananas.
Minor Elections
1. Exactly 5 people in any given general election know who any candidates are other than the presidential candidates.
2. Those five people know who other candidates are because they are physically unable to stop watching television, and thus cannot rise and vote anyway.
3. And nobody else cares about local politics.
4. Yet local elections still take a fair turnout. Why? Imagine you walk into a room expecting to eat a hot dog. And so you do. But after eating the hot dog, you turn to find the door locked. You look around and find the room completely white, and so unremarkable that you immediately collapse into explosive boredom, prepared to go insane from sensory deprivation. But wait. There is something you can do. Somebody has left you two check boxes and a pencil. Could be fun to check one of them. OOh! That was fun! Let's do it again! Check! Check! Check! Check! Check! Check!
And that's all the thought that goes into voting for a minor office.
1. Now that we're in a childish fantasy world of escaping madness by checking boxes, let's look at the things in the boxes. There are two methods: pick your favorite color, or go with the funniest sounding words. Think about it. Wouldn't you rather vote for Aquamarine Freznit Kerblinkipot!!!! than Bill Gray...
Major Elections
1. A person's choice in a major election is determined solely by:
whether the person prefers eating deer, or petting deer. or "I'll change my opinion if either of you offers me a cheap Chevy Suburban."
This is vastly different than Doom's preference of hooking cybernetic warmachines and maybe a vampire to a deer.
Flaw #2. Why elections don't matter anyway.
Say Congressman A is elected to represent party B, which opposes party C.
1. Congressman A does all he can to meet the interest of those corporations (and individuals, if you really believe that) that he can in party B.
2. Congressman A can't do too much, because congressman D, who represents party C, has devised a system in which every action Congressman A attempts is, instead of being debated in congress, thrown to the judicial or executive houses, which party C controlls. And thus you might as well have elected congressman D, so something at least can pass.
3. But even if you'd have voted for Mr. D, your vote would have been lost in the shady bowels of a voting machine manufactured by members of party B.
4. And in the event of significant political pressure, Mr. A will be more than happy at any rate to call himself a "moderate" and swing over to party C for moral reasons.
The Amazing, Spectacular Alternative of Dictatorship!
1. So you don't care who gets elected locally? Neither does Doom! Anybody can represent my explicit, iron will when I threaten their life!
2. Your political inclination may be shallowly motivated, but Doom has all sorts of good reasons why I should rule every aspect of your lives! And mine is the opinion that counts!
3. No congressmen will waste time bickering when Doom gives an order! You'll build that giant statue of me on your house's roof, or I'm injecting flesh eating robots under your skin, locking you inside your house, burning it down, and then building a statue of me on your roof. See, no tricky political loopholes there!
4. Political appearance. Imagine your average political debate on TV or your average senate meeting or what have you. Nothing but old people in suits arguing with each other. Now imagine Doom there. Doom is wearing high tech power armor and a cape, ranting in third person, and shooting lasers at whoever dares to disagree with the majesty that is Doom. Doesn't that make for more entertaining politics?
But wait, there's more!
Why settle for mere Dictatorship when you can get a Totalitarian, Oppressive, Militaristic Regime lead by a Dictator for the same price, that is, your total and unwavering obediance!
"But what's so good about a Totalitarian, Oppressive, Militaristic Regime lead by a Dictator?" you ask?
What's good is that if you question my authority again, nobody will ever find your body! But let me show you what's good:
1. Tired of having to make all those icky and hard decisions? Never again when Doom applies his special remedy, a mandatory nationwide 30 year draft of children 6 years old and up! Never will you have to make a desicion because when you serve in the Doom army, thinking is a death penalty, and we know, oh we know.
2. A thief in your house? Stole all your valubles? Worry no more, crimes like these will be no more when Doom takes away all your property and possessions and puts them under control of the government, and if someone did steal from you, you'd best not complain because then we'll know, and if we know, you know no more.
3. Tired of waking up to the sound of protest? Just want to kill those stupid, filthy, disgusting hippies? Worry no more, a nationwide death penalty against Liberalism will cure those pro-"free thinking" douchebags.
4. Never worry about abortion any more. Obviously, a woman who needs an abortion is a whore. If she wants her fetus killed, the government will assist her by executing her and then the baby will die with her. Either that or we'll turn them both into killer cyborgs and wipe their minds clean so they won't remember their past.
5. Education, everyone will get a free education equally. Everyone is subject to brainwashing and mind wiping before they become a killer cyborg in our military. Since we draft everyone from age six and up, they all get a free education in our military.
6. Religion, no doubts about it, everyone will have religion as everyone must worship Dr. Doom as a god. When you are brainwashed and mind wiped, you will be programmed to worship Dr. Doom anyway. Are you a die-hard militant Atheist? It does not matter as you will be converted to Doomism anyway whether you like it or not, and you will be programmed to like it.
So, in conclusion, Doom is your ROCK 'N' ROLL GANGSTER OVERLORD, AND YOU AIN'T DOIN' NOTHIN' ABOUT IT!
Dr. Doom's Proof of Inherent Flaws in Democracy
Dr. Doom's Proof of Inherent Flaws in Democracy
by kodiac1 July 5, 2006
Get the Dr. Doom's Proof of Inherent Flaws in Democracymug.