The Friends of Pluto is a organization created by the Church of Scientology and dedicated to the idea that Pluto is the so-called "Clear Planet". They strive tirelessly to found missions to the dwarf planet, to research its cold and icy wastes, to plunge to very pith of its being and to sell a collection of pro-Pluto propaganda videos titled Pluto: Paradise!
The Friends were created in 1907 by a clandestine CIA-funded project known as Xenulogy (not to be confused with the study of Xena). Literally millions of dollars was poured into recruiting members, building elaborate secret fortresses beneath Washington, DC, developing the popular series of Pamphlets so beloved by Americans even today and finally by outfitting the ill-fated Plutonian Expedition to the South Pole. By 1915, the Xenulogists controlled both houses of Congress, 7 of 9 members of the Supreme Court and had created a robotic version of Woodrow Wilson that failed due to a lack of decent batteries. Fortunately (or unfortunately for some), World War I brought their reign of terror to an end when a coalition of nations banded together to stop "Those Yankee Haters", as they were known. They pooled their funds and built an elaborate series of telescopes to study the most-distant planet. Their efforts were thwarted initially as Pluto had not actually been discovered yet. However, defeat turned to victory as the Xenulogists realized that it was logically impossible for them to exist before the discovery of the planet they were dedicated to, and quietly disbanded.
The Friends rose again shortly after World War II, but were struck and killed instantly by an asteroid. Each successive incarnation has likewise been struck and killed. Nevertheless, Pluto: Paradise! is still a best-seller and their influence extends much further than anyone gives them credit for.
The Friends were created in 1907 by a clandestine CIA-funded project known as Xenulogy (not to be confused with the study of Xena). Literally millions of dollars was poured into recruiting members, building elaborate secret fortresses beneath Washington, DC, developing the popular series of Pamphlets so beloved by Americans even today and finally by outfitting the ill-fated Plutonian Expedition to the South Pole. By 1915, the Xenulogists controlled both houses of Congress, 7 of 9 members of the Supreme Court and had created a robotic version of Woodrow Wilson that failed due to a lack of decent batteries. Fortunately (or unfortunately for some), World War I brought their reign of terror to an end when a coalition of nations banded together to stop "Those Yankee Haters", as they were known. They pooled their funds and built an elaborate series of telescopes to study the most-distant planet. Their efforts were thwarted initially as Pluto had not actually been discovered yet. However, defeat turned to victory as the Xenulogists realized that it was logically impossible for them to exist before the discovery of the planet they were dedicated to, and quietly disbanded.
The Friends rose again shortly after World War II, but were struck and killed instantly by an asteroid. Each successive incarnation has likewise been struck and killed. Nevertheless, Pluto: Paradise! is still a best-seller and their influence extends much further than anyone gives them credit for.
The Friends of Pluto are believed to be behind the reclassification of Pluto as a dwarf planet, for nefarious reasons only known to them.
by Kodiac1 December 10, 2006
Sparks is a Relationship Guidance company formed in Los Angeles who use words and music to describe common relationship situations. Led by brothers Ron and Russell Mael, Sparks has managed to release over seventy self-help albums, selling over 200 millions albums worldwide.
The Mael brothers private lives has always been drenched in secrecy. Some say that they're jointly married to eight wives, while Russell fervently claims that he is married to Jacqueline Kennedy.
The Mael brothers private lives has always been drenched in secrecy. Some say that they're jointly married to eight wives, while Russell fervently claims that he is married to Jacqueline Kennedy.
Many songs that Sparks have wrote are used by them to help certain sexual problems...
* For The Girls With Everything (Women who are self-obsessed with plastic surgery)
* All You Ever Think About Is Sex (Relationship friction)
* Thanks But No Thanks (How to turn down advances from prostitutes)
* Don't Leave Me Alone With Her (How to decline advances from women)
* Falling In Love With Myself Again (How to combat Mastrubation)
* For The Girls With Everything (Women who are self-obsessed with plastic surgery)
* All You Ever Think About Is Sex (Relationship friction)
* Thanks But No Thanks (How to turn down advances from prostitutes)
* Don't Leave Me Alone With Her (How to decline advances from women)
* Falling In Love With Myself Again (How to combat Mastrubation)
by kodiac1 July 03, 2006
Warren Buffet, generally acknowledged as the second richest man in the United States Of America, (after Ryan Seacrest), is the inventor of the all-you-can-eat restaurant concept. Back in the old days--before 1942--this was unheard of, but Buffet perservered through thick and thin and perfected the idea. Today, many restaurants actually use his name when referring to their unlimited offerings.
Buffet thought of the idea while touring India and seeing starving people. "What would make these folks feel really, really bad?" he pondered. The solution was letting them know that people in America can sit down and eat themselves to death anytime they want. "That'll put them Injuns in their place," Buffet stated, not realizing that Indians in India aren't the same ones that go "Woo-Woo" and live in teepees.
a bell and having a servant come over. After he graduated from boarding school and college, he was shocked that the world didn't actually work this way. He joined with his friend and lover Oscar Wilde and deciding to do something about ridding the world of poverty and hunger.
His plan was to simply kill off all the poor and hungry people. Fortunately for them, Buffet checked with his family attorney who advised him against it. "What a terrible police state we live in," Buffet was heard to say when he was told he couldn't simply get rid of lazy, poor, or otherwise useless people.
The Discovery of All You Can Eat
In 1955, Buffet has an epiphany. After he went to the doctor and got that fixed, he started working full-time on his "all you can eat" concept. The idea was simple: charge people a fixed price in advance then sit them down in a huge room with steam tables full of barely-good-enough food.
To make it more profitable, Buffet made the more inexpensive food of better quality than the more expensive offerings, to discourage people from eating too much shrimp and lobster.
Richest Man in the World
Today, every time someone eats in an eponymous "buffet", Warren Buffet makes $0.25. This has made them the richest man in the world. His company, Berkshire Crapaway, has a stock price per share of over US $1Million, making it the most expensive stock on the American Exchange. Buffet personally holds 55% of Berkshire Crapaway's stock.
Buffet thought of the idea while touring India and seeing starving people. "What would make these folks feel really, really bad?" he pondered. The solution was letting them know that people in America can sit down and eat themselves to death anytime they want. "That'll put them Injuns in their place," Buffet stated, not realizing that Indians in India aren't the same ones that go "Woo-Woo" and live in teepees.
a bell and having a servant come over. After he graduated from boarding school and college, he was shocked that the world didn't actually work this way. He joined with his friend and lover Oscar Wilde and deciding to do something about ridding the world of poverty and hunger.
His plan was to simply kill off all the poor and hungry people. Fortunately for them, Buffet checked with his family attorney who advised him against it. "What a terrible police state we live in," Buffet was heard to say when he was told he couldn't simply get rid of lazy, poor, or otherwise useless people.
The Discovery of All You Can Eat
In 1955, Buffet has an epiphany. After he went to the doctor and got that fixed, he started working full-time on his "all you can eat" concept. The idea was simple: charge people a fixed price in advance then sit them down in a huge room with steam tables full of barely-good-enough food.
To make it more profitable, Buffet made the more inexpensive food of better quality than the more expensive offerings, to discourage people from eating too much shrimp and lobster.
Richest Man in the World
Today, every time someone eats in an eponymous "buffet", Warren Buffet makes $0.25. This has made them the richest man in the world. His company, Berkshire Crapaway, has a stock price per share of over US $1Million, making it the most expensive stock on the American Exchange. Buffet personally holds 55% of Berkshire Crapaway's stock.
by kodiac1 July 06, 2006
It has been known that rogue states but also companies and universities put restrictions to the Internet usage. These restrictions are so aggressive and perverse that the Internet experience of the end-user is completely compromised.
WebSense comes to the rescue by providing stealth anonymity to the masses, allowing them to browse the Internet without restrictions. Due to this, WebSense is severely unpopular in specific non-secural countries; merely having WebSense software installed on your computer may land you in jail for two years.
WebSense offers anonymous secure proxy servers that end-users can connect to. Once such a server is blocked, WebSense activates a new one and informs the users through encrypted e-mail to switch to it.
There is currently work carried out to integrate WebSense with the Onion Routing project in order to offer protection against traffic analysis.
WebSense is resilient to differential analysis attacks thanks to patented technologies being employed.
WebSense comes to the rescue by providing stealth anonymity to the masses, allowing them to browse the Internet without restrictions. Due to this, WebSense is severely unpopular in specific non-secural countries; merely having WebSense software installed on your computer may land you in jail for two years.
WebSense offers anonymous secure proxy servers that end-users can connect to. Once such a server is blocked, WebSense activates a new one and informs the users through encrypted e-mail to switch to it.
There is currently work carried out to integrate WebSense with the Onion Routing project in order to offer protection against traffic analysis.
WebSense is resilient to differential analysis attacks thanks to patented technologies being employed.
by kodiac1 July 09, 2006
A butter knife is a knife made from butter. As knives go it's pretty good as long as you keep it very cold.
Waaaay back before the Bronze Age, there is no evidence of butter implements being used. However, we are sure that the cavemen used butter knives of a rudimentary design. Unfortunately for archaeologists, global warming of the earth over the past few thousand years has caused all ancient butter knives to melt. All that is left are a few knife-shaped grease stains. I wish people would stop warming thier bloody globals, it's causing untold damage.
We do know that the Neanderthals used butter spears to kill their prey, and butter arrows and quivers were used in the middle ages. Evidence for this has been found in the European Butter Mountains.
Waaaay back before the Bronze Age, there is no evidence of butter implements being used. However, we are sure that the cavemen used butter knives of a rudimentary design. Unfortunately for archaeologists, global warming of the earth over the past few thousand years has caused all ancient butter knives to melt. All that is left are a few knife-shaped grease stains. I wish people would stop warming thier bloody globals, it's causing untold damage.
We do know that the Neanderthals used butter spears to kill their prey, and butter arrows and quivers were used in the middle ages. Evidence for this has been found in the European Butter Mountains.
How to make a butter knife:
Take some fresh dairy butter and sharpen the butter until razor sharp. Keep in the fridge.
Take some fresh dairy butter and sharpen the butter until razor sharp. Keep in the fridge.
by kodiac1 July 04, 2006
6 (uppercase: ^) is a real-live Arabic cardinal numerical integer, the successor to 5 and predecessor to the suspicious 7. It is a real subset of the set of all elements that come between the number infinitely far away from 5.00 and the number infinitely far away from 7.00 in opposite directions, and vice versa. Ordinally, it comes after the fifth number in the sequence of the numbers, and is before the seventh of the same.
In mathematics, the number constitutes a number of the base 10 regiment, or a decimal number, and may be more accurately denoted by the symbols 6.00. 6 is an even number, as opposed to an odd number, and can be created as the product of a 2 and a 3. Due to the phenomenon of reverse truncation, 2+2 approximately equals 6 for very large values of 2.
In finance, 6 is a small amount of currency, and may buy you a small paperback mathematical dictionary in some nations, whilst in others it will barely pay for a financial newspaper. The concept of having less money would be constituted in this situation by having 5.99 of your currency, and the concept of having more money would be constituted by having 6.01.
In literature, 6 is a page on which words are written. As an example, if you were reading the fifth page of the book (page five, that is), then the next page would be called page six (or the sixth page), and vice versa.
In cookery, 6 is a measure of how much of a particular ingredient you include in a dish, and its precise value is determined by the units that are used to suffix the said 6.
In computing, 6 is a key on a keyboard, usually denoted by the '6' symbol, and appearing in all twice on a standard keyboard, once in a horizontal fashion above the letters of the alphabet, in juxtaposition with the numbers 5 and 7; and once on the so-called 'number pad' on the far right of the unit, where it features on the right-hand side, to the right of the button marked '5', below the button marked '9', above that marked '3', and with borders to '8' and '2' also. The former occurrence of 6 wears a hat on standard US keyboards.
In time, 6 o'clock is the time that is one second after 5:59:59, and one second before 6:00:01. This time may be in the morning, or it may be in the evening, but at both times you are likely to find human beings awake.
In describing human directed animal attacks, a homonym of 6 is used as in: "Joe sics his dog on the hapless home invader.".
In medical terminology, 6 is used to describe relative malady as in: "I'm sick's a dog.".
In the calendar, 6 is the day that comes after the 5th day of each month, and comes before the 7th of the same month.
In German the number 6 is spoken like "sex" and therefore a never ending source of stupid jokes.
In base 6, the number 6 is written "10."
On the other hand, in base 5 the number 6 is written "11." This is rather odd since 6 is not an odd number, while 11 is.
In mathematics, the number constitutes a number of the base 10 regiment, or a decimal number, and may be more accurately denoted by the symbols 6.00. 6 is an even number, as opposed to an odd number, and can be created as the product of a 2 and a 3. Due to the phenomenon of reverse truncation, 2+2 approximately equals 6 for very large values of 2.
In finance, 6 is a small amount of currency, and may buy you a small paperback mathematical dictionary in some nations, whilst in others it will barely pay for a financial newspaper. The concept of having less money would be constituted in this situation by having 5.99 of your currency, and the concept of having more money would be constituted by having 6.01.
In literature, 6 is a page on which words are written. As an example, if you were reading the fifth page of the book (page five, that is), then the next page would be called page six (or the sixth page), and vice versa.
In cookery, 6 is a measure of how much of a particular ingredient you include in a dish, and its precise value is determined by the units that are used to suffix the said 6.
In computing, 6 is a key on a keyboard, usually denoted by the '6' symbol, and appearing in all twice on a standard keyboard, once in a horizontal fashion above the letters of the alphabet, in juxtaposition with the numbers 5 and 7; and once on the so-called 'number pad' on the far right of the unit, where it features on the right-hand side, to the right of the button marked '5', below the button marked '9', above that marked '3', and with borders to '8' and '2' also. The former occurrence of 6 wears a hat on standard US keyboards.
In time, 6 o'clock is the time that is one second after 5:59:59, and one second before 6:00:01. This time may be in the morning, or it may be in the evening, but at both times you are likely to find human beings awake.
In describing human directed animal attacks, a homonym of 6 is used as in: "Joe sics his dog on the hapless home invader.".
In medical terminology, 6 is used to describe relative malady as in: "I'm sick's a dog.".
In the calendar, 6 is the day that comes after the 5th day of each month, and comes before the 7th of the same month.
In German the number 6 is spoken like "sex" and therefore a never ending source of stupid jokes.
In base 6, the number 6 is written "10."
On the other hand, in base 5 the number 6 is written "11." This is rather odd since 6 is not an odd number, while 11 is.
A common urban legend tells that 6 is afraid of 7 because "7 8 9". Recent forensic discoveries indicate that 9 probably died of natural causes, and 6's fear of 7 may have stemmed from other causes, such as domestic violence.
by kodiac1 July 05, 2006
Do you have an irrational, yet somehow compelling grudge against all of humanity, or even just some sections of it, like France, for example? Perhaps you have a point to make, but writing letters just doesn't cut it, and a big explosion would really help people to get the idea. If this is you, then see a doctor, you mad fucker, the Capybara bomb might be just what you need.
The Capybara bomb is a surprisingly successful stealth weapon composed of:
1. A capybara
2. Dynamite
The animal
Ah, the capybara, my old friend how you lollop through life, swimming in rivers and snuffling dung, all the while unaware that TERRORISTS! are seeking to use you in their nefarious plans. Never mind. Let's take a closer look at the furry little dope.
The capybara (Hydrochoerus hydrochæris) is a semi-aquatic herbivorous animal with a brain the size of a tangerine. Full-grown capybarae reach between 105 and 135 cm (40-55 in) in length. They are peaceful, fun-loving creatures that like dancing and poker. They look like giant guinea pigs.
Most importantly, however, the average capybara can safely hold up to 7 sticks of dynamite.
The dynamite
Any old dynamite will do. Just wash it, shove it in and go.
Advantages
1. Absolutely no one expects that a capybara is going to explode.
2. They are very docile and tolerant animals, and especially so when dynamite is being inserted.
A capybara bomb can be used pretty much anywhere but they are especially useful for TERRORISTS! who hate zoos. The range and damage capabilities of the device are limited to around 1 meter (3.2808399 feet). This is good for blowing up telephone boxes, small cars and litter bins.
Uses
If you want to blow up a really big thing, then you'll need more than one capybara. A whole lorry load of capybarae could probably bring down a Wal-Mart, but if you're stopped for any reason, it's going to be really hard to come up with a sufficiently good reason as to why you are driving a consignment of 500 capybarae with dynamite up their asses, to the Wal-Mart.
The Capybara bomb is a surprisingly successful stealth weapon composed of:
1. A capybara
2. Dynamite
The animal
Ah, the capybara, my old friend how you lollop through life, swimming in rivers and snuffling dung, all the while unaware that TERRORISTS! are seeking to use you in their nefarious plans. Never mind. Let's take a closer look at the furry little dope.
The capybara (Hydrochoerus hydrochæris) is a semi-aquatic herbivorous animal with a brain the size of a tangerine. Full-grown capybarae reach between 105 and 135 cm (40-55 in) in length. They are peaceful, fun-loving creatures that like dancing and poker. They look like giant guinea pigs.
Most importantly, however, the average capybara can safely hold up to 7 sticks of dynamite.
The dynamite
Any old dynamite will do. Just wash it, shove it in and go.
Advantages
1. Absolutely no one expects that a capybara is going to explode.
2. They are very docile and tolerant animals, and especially so when dynamite is being inserted.
A capybara bomb can be used pretty much anywhere but they are especially useful for TERRORISTS! who hate zoos. The range and damage capabilities of the device are limited to around 1 meter (3.2808399 feet). This is good for blowing up telephone boxes, small cars and litter bins.
Uses
If you want to blow up a really big thing, then you'll need more than one capybara. A whole lorry load of capybarae could probably bring down a Wal-Mart, but if you're stopped for any reason, it's going to be really hard to come up with a sufficiently good reason as to why you are driving a consignment of 500 capybarae with dynamite up their asses, to the Wal-Mart.
by kodiac1 September 05, 2008