masturbateur 

A person who gets off on themselves in an obnoxiously haughty manner. The classic snotty judgmental prick who will inevitably be sitting at home alone masturbating because they have alienated lovers and friends alike with their arrogant personality.

Miguel said he didn't invite me to his art opening because it's only for "real art aficionados." What a fuckin masturbateur.

masturbateur by samkohn May 23, 2013

masturbate and switch 

Masturbate and switch — the erotic KINK of having sex with one person while thinking of another; or, of talking dirty to a sexual partner and allowing them to verbally — either from your mouth or theirs — acknowledge deep sexual attraction for another person; or, for an extreme sexual scenario.

This is not a practice for the sexually insecure — unless insecurity is your particular KINK!!!!!

On the one hand, if one wants to enjoy the depth sexuality of another, the partner has to be made to feel comfortable physically, mentally and spiritually.

On the other hand, one would have to ask if their ego is strong enough to facilitate the unbridled sexuality and fantasy life of another.

Well…you don’t hit home runs unless you swing for the fences. And, on the other hand, if you swing too hard and miss YOU CAN STRIKE OUT!!!!!!

Unless you are a “sex-pert” DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!!!!!!!

But if you are ever semi-single in Negril at a Club Med — and you didn’t hear this from me — give it a shot!!!!!!!

Remember: NOT A PRACTICE FOR THE SEXUALLY TIMID AND INSECURE!!!!!!

Him: Wow, that was a quick orgasm, babe!!! You must have been really horny.

Her: Naw. I did a masturbate and switch and IT GOT REALLY GOOD TO ME!!!!!!

Him: Tell me what you were thinking so I can masturbate and switch, too!!!!!!!!!

masturbate and switch by Mind Hunter the Profiler June 21, 2023

Masturbaker's dozen 

The pinnacle of all dedicated feckless cum-shedders whereby the participant aims to ejaculate more than 13 times in a 24 hour period. 13 loads in generally accepted by industry insiders as being the level that separates the men from the boys.

'I did it , I did the masturbaker's dozen! Admittedly the last six were with a floppy and the jizz was purely gaseous, but by golly I finally did it. Now it's off to the doctor for me to get some ointment for the blisters and tennis elbow..'

Masturbaker's dozen by Anonymous submissions December 10, 2016

masturbate 

Act people commit when browsing Urban Dictionary

All these definitions make me want to masturbate

masturbate by 32121 July 22, 2016

Personal Masturbatory Rolodex (PMR) 

n;stored mental images to which one masturbates. abbrv - PMR.

see also spankbank

That girl is so hot. I am entering her into my Personal Masturbatory Rolodex (PMR)

Personal Masturbatory Rolodex (PMR) by optic_fuel August 27, 2008

chronic masturbator 

A person who masturbates more than 3 times a day, and cannot go a day with out masturbation.

Friend: Bro! did you hear that Johnny filled up a 2 little jar with cum.
you: ya I heard he is a chronic masturbator 1

chronic masturbator by MexicanPog November 16, 2020

masturbate 

To stimulate the genitals for a jolt of pleasure (orgasm).

John wanted to masturbate, so he clicked on the computer in the darkly lit room. He typed “porn hub” into the search bar and took off his jeans. He quickly took off his boxers and let his dick feel the fresh air. He clicked the most popular result and started watching the porn.
He felt his dick harden when he got to the sex. He felt aroused, so he started to wank. It filled him up with pleasure. The head of his dick became covered with precum and he started wanking faster. It felt so good to him. He started to stroke it and rub it. His penis was dripping with precum.

He felt his dick become heavy and the head full. The threesome on the screen were arousing John even more. John let out a deep moan of pleasure and a hot stream of jizz sprayed out of his member. Semen covered his lap, as his dick bobbled around to let out a few more spurts of cum. He kept wanking, then his door opened. John was so scared, he almost ripped his dick off.
His dick layed flaccid across his naked legs, then he walked to the bathroom, his legs coated with semen.

masturbate by Well, shit. December 21, 2017