31 definitions by Anonymous submissions

The visionary pornographic director behind such adult film classics as 'A tale of two clitties,' 'David Copafeel' and 'Great expecting Asians.'
'Dude, did you catch the new Charles Dickcunts porno on Pay-per-view last night? I haven't been that hard since I watched 'The Res-erection of Christ; this time Jesus does the nailing.'
by Anonymous submissions March 01, 2017
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The official name for the London party borough of Epping, so named because the nightlife there is so wild that even the most reluctant of participants will inevitably lose their shit as the night progresses
'Jesus Christ almighty, what the fuck happened last night? Looks like the Epping carnage poo struck again because I've not only got memory loss but I also appear to have shat the bed. I say shat but it could be Nutella. (sniffs brown stain in question). Nope, it's definitely shit.'
by Anonymous submissions December 22, 2016
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The more closely related to you a female is, the larger her breasts have to be for you to be enticed to get all incestual with her. As it is generally frowned upon in most cultures to bome one's sister, said sister's breasts would need to be the size of basketballs in order to tempt one into doing so. However, a fourth cousin twice removed might have non-existent breasts, but one would have no qualms about shagging her, as the two parties share only a dash of genetic material (in her vagina).
'Dude, Einstein's theory of relative titty is definitely factual as no sooner had Mum had her double D boob job, then I was on top of her sending my penis back from whenst it came (her vagina). Then I came.'
by Anonymous submissions December 06, 2017
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To be so elated by a perceived favourable outcome in an event, no matter how mediocre, that one proceeds to ejaculate without warning in one's pants, regardless of the social situation.
Dentist: 'You were well behaved at your appointment today David, so here's a sticker'
David: (jizzes in pants)
Dentist: 'Ejacelation?'
David: 'Nope, prostate cancer.'
by Anonymous submissions January 26, 2017
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The systematic appraisal of a fanny (gash) using a set of predefined, uniform measures including smell, taste, acidity, presence of pubic hair, labia size and level of resemblance to a badly wrapped kebab. One should also comment upon how eager one is to 'smash' it, given the opportunity. Synonymous with 'gashessment'
So I did a fanalysis on Ruth last night and she scored really well- bald as a badger from her clunge to her aintcha, and kebab was well packed, but had to mark her down on the smell as it had the aroma of a rotting salmon carcas. Would still smash the shit out of it again though given the chance, but I'm all out of rufies, so can't see it happening anytime soon
by Anonymous submissions February 04, 2016
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Similar to an unauthorised day in lieu, where one spends the day in a work cubicle playing phone games, searching for porn and thinking about urban dictionary definitions.
Boss: 'Are you taking another day in loo then, David?'
David: 'How'd you know, Boss?'
Boss: 'Partly because you missed the big meeting, but mainly cause you're absolutely covered in jizz, you reprobate'
by Anonymous submissions May 13, 2019
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'Dude, this defecate deficit is still going strong- I've eaten a kilo of prunes and still no joy. The poor toilet is going to look like Hiroshima when it does finally come. Desperate times require desperate measures so I'm thinking I probably need to gouge it out with a long narrow implement. That reminds me, you should buy a new toothbrush..'
by Anonymous submissions January 04, 2017
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