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predominantely British term for masturbation

Buffing the Banana
Holding Your Sausage Hostage
Jackin' the Beanstalk
Rounding up the Tadpoles
Slap Boxing the One-Eyed Champ
Spank the Frank
Applying the hand brake
Attacking the one-eyed purple-headed warrior
Auditioning the finger puppets
Beef-stroke-it-off
Boxing the bald champ
Charming the snake
Checking for testicular cancer
Choking Kojak
Squeezing the cream from the flesh Twinkie
Straddle your paddle
Taking matters into your own hands
Teasing the weasel
Thumping the pump
Tickling the pickle
etc etc
by Master Bates March 23, 2003
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Jul 31 Word of the Day
(noun) A person who sits on the front porch and intimidates, says negative things, or otherwise makes things unpleasant for those nearby.
The boys walked past the house of old man Thompson, the neighborhood porch dick, who always assumed they were up to no good.
by bigweaseldaddy March 08, 2015
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2
1. A slang term for masturbation that originated in Britain.
2. A word that describes something that is very poor/terrible.
1)

A: "I heard Jake broke up with Charlotte"
B: "Yeah, he's probably at home, wanking"

2)

A: "Did you see that film?"
B: "Yeah, it sucked. Utter wank."
by EvilFruitPie April 25, 2011
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3
The act of self masturbation (verb)
Hey John, wanna go catch a beer?
No, I think I'm just going to go home and have a wank.
by terriblequiche August 10, 2006
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4
Although E. M. Forster enjoyed Virginia Woolf's company, he'd often wish she'd shut up and leave so he could enjoy a rollicking good wank in the gazeebo.
by Reginald Whattabone October 06, 2003
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5
Art of jacking off the man meat, giving it a good wholesome rub, massage, squeeze and jerk until you spray your hot sticky man juices over a face, into a mouth, over yourself, your hands, your abs, your pecs, the floor, the walls, and in your car, bedroom, bathroom, shower, bed, garden, and naked or in your jocks, jeans, suit trousers, or speedos.
Bro, you're such a filthy bastard man, taking a wank in your business suit.
by Wind blower March 30, 2016
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6
.bash the bishop
.choke the chicken
.yank the plank
.clean the pipes
.grapple the gorilla
.pet the one eyed snake
.stroke the salami
.massage colin
.toss off
.shake hands with the milkman
.plain old wank
.greet the old chap
.tommy tank
by r0By$Ta April 08, 2003
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