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fartsturbate

v.
1. the act of masturbating and farting at the same time

2. simulation of this act by a hand motion and fart sound made with the mouth
by Casey January 20, 2005
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fasturbate

1) the act of masturbating when in a hurry

2) masturbation under time-restrictions
my parents were coming home soon so I had to fasturbate
by Chris "KMoney" Mason December 2, 2005
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factsturbate

v: To willfully distort, ignore, or fabricate factual material in order to serve one's selfish ends, e.g. deceiving others
Trump's tendency to factsturbate constantly when speaking to the public makes those with a firm grip on reality swell with anger.
by geblergenschmoof October 20, 2016
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fatsturbate

When a man is sufficiently obese that his penis can be engulfed in body fat, allowing him to stimulate himself by simple, repeated shifting of body position. This auto-erotic action is fatsturbating.
My obese college roommate would always fatsturbate on the couch next to me, yelling "Check it out! No hands!"
by Stefan Bastardo February 6, 2010
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frusturbate

When a person is frustrated because of events of the day, he/she frusturbates to relieve themselves.
My friend Devin frusturbates because he has no girlfriend.
by The Shiz December 12, 2003
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fapsturbate

To masturbate furiously, or fap.
I'm serious, did you fapsturbate to my porn?
by Dumpsterbaby December 16, 2007
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Facesturbate

Her profile picture was too small
For me to facesturbate so I had to add her.
by Booyah123 June 25, 2010
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