A horrific event in which one is slammed in the face with such a considerable and inordinate payload of semen that their universe is foreverchang-ed.
1) If i ever ran into Brooke Burke on the street, i would drop trou and she would be the direct object of the greatest cumtastrophe the world has ever seen.
2) Sometimes, I just want to go to a Japanese massage parlor. Only problem is...because i love asian women so much, when I get the happy ending, it usually turns into a cumtastrophe.
A chatastrophe is any typically sudden, disastrous event that occurs during online chat- whether in chat rooms or private messaging.
Room Two was noted as a peaceable room of cozy fellowship chat amongst civilized habitués. After Room One experienced the chatastrophe of a vengeful bot-loading booter, Room One chatters jumped ship and found their way over to Room Two like so many flotsam-borne rats. This sat uneasily upon the regulars of Two, as the Oners were a virtual rogues gallery of the more virulent personality disorders. In their turn, the Room Two chatters regarded the influx of Oners as a chatastrophe.
"Babe, it's a total clitastrophe, i mean, what do i have to do? Draw him a map so he knows where it is?!"
Belinda complained to Diana as they discussed last nights crappy sex with Daniel and his inability to find the clitorus.
A woman who, by demeanor and action, creates issues where there are none. A drama machine. She will commonly be found in panic, when you ask her what is wrong she will list horrible situations from the past, the present and quite possibly activities that aren't even true just to stir up shit. When she asks you questions, beware, it is rhetorical, she is bating you into her trap. It is how they hunt. They dwell within a web of lies and burned bridges wherein they create a nest which requires high matienance. These women should be avoided at all costs.
Trish: Oh, here comes Doloris.
Doloris: (In background) Oh my God, I just wrecked my car because I got a call while I was trying to drink my vodka. Could you loan me $50 so I can get some scrath-its? You don't want me to buy scratch-its?!? Do you think I'm fat?..."
It was fine until we got back to my place. He couldn't keep it up. The cat tried to bite his dick. So I just blew him, so it would all be over. It was a coitastrophe.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.
A phenomenon in film/television series, most notably streaming series, where the main premise is drawn out to such a point that it takes an entire season or more to get the parts of the series the audience is actually interested in seeing.
For example, if a series is titled "Surf Dracula," a majority of viewers would tune in expecting to see Dracula surfing by the first or second episode. However, the entire first season would instead be tedious padding and backstory before finally ending with Dracula surfing in the last five minutes of the season finale.
I watched "Smallville" on Netflix the other day. Dude, it was ten seasons of filler before he finally flew! Major Surf Dracula Syndrome!
Finding your way back to the truth by fixing on one verified fact and working out from there, the way you navigate by the North Star when everything around you is spinning.
Rumours were flying everywhere, so she went northstarring — one checked fact at a time.