2 definitions by Red Baron

A horrific event in which one is slammed in the face with such a considerable and inordinate payload of semen that their universe is forever chang-ed.
1) If i ever ran into Brooke Burke on the street, i would drop trou and she would be the direct object of the greatest cumtastrophe the world has ever seen.
2) Sometimes, I just want to go to a Japanese massage parlor. Only problem is...because i love asian women so much, when I get the happy ending, it usually turns into a cumtastrophe.
by Red Baron December 16, 2004
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When you have to take a shit, but you have no toilet paper - just paper towels. But, you can't flush the paper towels, so you shit in the toilet and then wipe your ass on the paper towels and then put the paper towels in a paper bag in front of you. Then you carry the paper bag with the "excremains" around no matter where you go like a symbol of joy and contentment -- or you can throw it away...but i think that'd be just stupid.
Today, we ran out of toilet paper, but its cool cuz i used my sticktuitiveness to manufacture a rare batch of excremains.
by Red Baron December 17, 2004
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