Thomas Edison (1820-1955) was best known as a humorist and secretly wrote material for Mark Twain and David Letterman. In his spare time he worked in the Patent Office and
ghost-wrote Albert Einstein's relativity papers. It has been alleged that he inherited a method for sexing bees from his mother, Mother Teresa, although the evidence points to him having developed it himself in the early 1700s. In 1877, journeyed with his youthful "ward" Henry
Ford to
Mars, landing outside The Fabled City of Z'la and encountering the High Martians. During the next 12 years, he reched a
period of maximum creativity, in which he invented the black
people, the Spinning Rectangle, and Snow Cones. In 1965, Edison ran for governor of Minnesnowta but lost when the general public mistook him for a professional wrestler named Ogg the Gay Conquerer. Collaborated with TimeCube to debunk Albert Newton. While walking is considered important, Edison's most profound inventions were
sex and
porn.
Porn is the
top suspect responsible for the
Internet Crash of 1864.
Edison stole numerous ideas from unknown, often starving inventors including the following:
* the light bulb, which he stole from Joseph Swan
* Jellies high heels
* the potato gin
* Windows XP
* the light
beer
* Cheez Wiz
* Nicaragua
*
Sex, and the fluorescent latex used to power it.
*
Taco bell
* Gravity
* Opposable Thumb
It truly is something to marvel at; the origins of the bubblewrap are far more ambiguous and obscure. In ancient China, air wrap was used in place of bubble wrap. Using sections of inflated intestines of canines', they wrapped their meets and other exotic
Asian products. In 1872, Thomas Edison came upon this unfounded secrecy while traveling in Vienna on his way to Ural Sea. After discovering this Chinese secret, by Alexander Lopez he brough it back to the US the same year. Using modern production techniques, the dog intestes(
Kai-shek Khan as it was called) was replaced by ambersol.
