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Sex is like math:

You add the bed,
Subtract the clothes,
Divide the legs,
And pray you don't multiply.
Guy 1 to guy 2: Sarah and I were remembering high school math in bed last night when we had sex. We went at it like wild monkeys!
by (v.j.o) March 27, 2008
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2
i was in school on a project. my partner was the hottest girl ever Brittany. I always had a thing for her but she was too hot but something changed. in the halls, she bumped into me, i felt her hand squeeze my dick.she was leaning over a desk and she told me to look at what she wrote. i couldn't go on either side of her because there were tables."I can't really see" i said"just come closer." i went an inch closer but made sure not to touch her. she wouldnt stand up straight.her ass was close to my dick. "I can't get much closer." i told her "you can"i went further until i grazed her ass."she took my hands and placed them on the desk. "closer" she said.i walked a few steps until i was against her. "more" she said. my dick was on her ass. (it continues into the example)
i pushed some more. "there we go.".our legs touched." she took my hands and placed them on her breasts. i pushed even more on my ass. i was so hard. her tights showed her ass in a sexy way. go to the bathroom" she whispered she left the room. i asked. i stepped into the boys bathroom and locked the door. i looked in the stalls and on the last one Brittany was there in a black bra and thong. i walked up to her and kissed her. her legs were next to me. i took off her clothes. her breasts were against me. i moved my hands to her ass and i squeezed. she squeezed mine. she undid her bra and i didn't move. she laughed, took my hands and putthem on her. she got down on her knees and took a chunk in. i tried to control my moans but it was to good. i cummed. it went in her mouth and she swallowed all of it. i was hard again and kissed her. i grabbed her ass and hauled her up. her legs were around me. my dick went in her vagina. she screamed.I moved in and out"oh yes Nate. " i went as fast as i could and she screamed. we both hit our orgasms at the same time. she screamed.i cummed so much. we Frenched after. this sex between us continued for a long time. i have to go, tomorrow is our son's wedding.
by greatlover August 27, 2013
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3
Face it, the only reason that you're looking up sex right now is so that you can get horny from people's definitions.
Bro, I just looked up sex on urban dictionary. It was so much better than porn.
by sex:) July 19, 2012
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4
What kind of moron are you that you look up sex in the urban dictionary?
Looking up sex??? Seriously, get off now before I turn off the internet.
by TJ (CC) December 03, 2005
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5
Roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour kissing is a habit fucking is a game guys get all the pleasure girls get all the pain 10 minutes of pleasure 9 monthes of pain 3 days in the hospital a baby with no name the baby is a basterd the mother is a whore this never would have happened if the rubber hadn't tore sex us like math you subtract the clothes add the bed divide the legs and pray to god you don't multiply roses are red grass is green open your legs and I'll fill you with cream sex is evil sex is a sin sins are forgiven so stick it in roses are nice violets are fine I'll be the 6 if you be the 9 eat me beat me bite me blow me fuck me suck me very slowly if you like it don't be sassy use your tounge and make it nasty
by Cutiepie30h3 June 30, 2009
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The lone reason why the world exists, figuratively, and literaly!!!
Why Is Sex Like Riding A Bike?

1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.

2. It's best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.

3. You can do it with no hands, but it's best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.

4. It's easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience.

5. You can do it by yourself, but it's usually not as much fun.

6. It's usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.

7. It's best to have a soft place to land.

8. You don't need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are really into it.

9. If you're with someone who is having trouble keeping up, it's usually best to slow down and wait for them.

10. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first time.

11. Once you learn, you never forget how.

12. If you fall off get right back on.

13. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up.

14. Remember to signal before you change direction.

15. Make sure that you've got a firm grip.

16. Once you're over the top, you can just coast the rest of the way.

17. That's why some of them are called Mountin' Bikes.
by DGlaze March 21, 2007
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