Numpft 

It is commonly used to describe a person who is a bit on the slow side of things and has a general delayed reaction to most subjects ,especially humour. It originates from the word numpfty

In reality the word actually doesn’t seem that offensive and sort of sounds like something your nan or partner would call you if you were acting the ejet i.e falling down a flight of stairs

Victim: *clips ankle off the side of Ben 10 scooter
Attacker(Joshua): what ya after doing you numpft

Numpft by Study skillz 4 lif3 January 29, 2020

Numpty Crew 

A fictional worldwide organisation that all numpties belong to. Membership is honorary and non-numpties are not permitted to join.

John: Why can't these fools ever get my food order right?
Greg: Numpty Crew mate.

Numpty Crew by Cheesed1ck October 31, 2019

Numbfterble

When you are so drunk or high that you are feeling comfortably numb.

Cliff: How you feeling man?

Darron: Dude, I'm numbfterble.

Numbfterble by bpj23 November 18, 2011

numptcake 

1. Mild slang implying ineptitude, particularly with regard to poor driving, originating on the road to Salisbury.

2. Also used to describe unattractive women who appear hot at distance.

1.Alright numptcakes, it takes two to Tandy. Bitches.

2. Jones: Christ on a stick, look at that fine piece of ass!
Gorman: Sit tight friend, that's no fine piece of ass. Take a closer look.
Jones: Dear god, you're right. It's a numptcake. Run!

numptcake by Filth Wizard January 3, 2009

Numpty 

Scottish usage:
a) Someone who (sometimes unwittingly) by speech or action demonstrates a lack of knowledge or misconception of a particular subject or situation to the amusement of others.

b) A good humoured admonition, a term of endearment

c) A reckless, absent minded or unwise person

a) "No. That wisnae wit she meant, ya big numpty!"

b) i.e. "Silly billy", "You big dafty"

c) "That numpty's driving with no lights on!"

Numpty by cargo_4 May 20, 2004

numptie 

1) Scottish colloquialism, a stupid person, a figure of ridicule.

Coca Cola is made from dried beetles.

Is it?

Of course not you numptie.

numptie by fgf November 14, 2003

numpty muffin

A derogatory term used in Anti-French alliances conveying the complete utter distain for the French nationality.

“Pretty soon we’ll wipe all these numpty muffins off the face of the planet.”

numpty muffin by Matestreymy May 17, 2019