1) Scottish colloquialism, a stupid person, a figure of ridicule.
Coca Cola is made from dried beetles.

Is it?

Of course not you numptie.
by fgf November 14, 2003
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A cross between a nummie (num-nuts) and a humptie (short fat person)
by rKingie July 11, 2008
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(Australian) Drunken aboriginal woman available for sex with all comers
Maaate! You cun awlways foind a numptie to steek yr deek in out in th' bush!
by kwirx November 14, 2003
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Scottish usage:
a) Someone who (sometimes unwittingly) by speech or action demonstrates a lack of knowledge or misconception of a particular subject or situation to the amusement of others.

b) A good humoured admonition, a term of endearment

c) A reckless, absent minded or unwise person
a) "No. That wisnae wit she meant, ya big numpty!"

b) i.e. "Silly billy", "You big dafty"

c) "That numpty's driving with no lights on!"
by cargo_4 May 20, 2004
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A person who is incapable of performing the simplest of task correctly. Usual symptoms include poor hand-eye coordination, zero common sense and the general illusion that they are special (caused by parents referring to them as such and the numpty not fully grasping the meaning implied).

Common causes are being dropped as a baby or repeated heavy blows to head in later life.
person1: Jeff could you pass me the pen?
Jeff: ooops! (while dropping the pen)
Person1: Jeff you're such a numpty!
by punchlinestapler September 21, 2010
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Woody was a numpty for misplacing his iPhone at the strip club.
by 1367 November 20, 2012
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A person who never has or never will have a f*ing clue what he is doing
by Nested One October 14, 2003
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