A term used by members of the drinking/running club called the Hash House Harriers. It occurs when a member of such club is either excessively talking about hashing or tediously planning a hash trail.
Hasher 1: Where is Penis Fly Trap?
Hasher 2: Oh she's upstairs on Bing Maps hasturbating for her next June trail.
Hasher1: Jeebus it's been 2 hours!
Or:
Hasher 1: Dude! Last weeks trail had so much shiggy!! There was a wall of briars, and I swear Taint No Savior was going to need stitches! Then there was this tunnel that went on forever!!! OMG, and the beercheck was up this creek and we had to swim-
Hasher2: I got it! I got! I missed a great trail. Quit hashturbating in front of me.
A Horny Bastard. In every circle of friends, there is always a hastard. Thinks that all world problems can be solved if the world leaders jack- off more... Spends his whole day in his room doing you know what.... On the surface, he may appear normal, but deep inside his perverted psyche, there lies a sexual fiend. He has the largest collection of porn amongst anyone you know. Also, a hastard is a guy who never gets any real action, but goes solo always.
Where is the hastard?? Oh I can guess! He is probably in his room pleasing himself.
Stop hastarding around. Watching porn in the library! And I thought you could sink no lower!
A half duck half anteater has two teath runs up to forty miles perhour has therr tungs that shoot acid and purple gunk and when one is killed it instantly lays an egg
A sneaky Hastert involves performing an unwelcome sexual act, under the pretense of performing some other helpful action. The name comes from former house speaker Dennis Hastert, who allegedly molested members of a wrestling team he coached, under the pretense of assisting with the treatment of sport related injuries.
Person A: My groin cramped up in wrestling practice again, and the coach offered to help me stretch it out.
Person B: Oh, that was helpful.
Person A: It would have been, but while I was writing in pain, he jacked me off and fingered my asshole, then ran away while laughing maniacally and sniffing his fingers.
twiddle the bean or jack in an unusual manner, with thoughts of doing something particularly dirty that is not always associated with sex. Masturbation that is a mixture of very perverted and very funny. Often punctuated by Ha! This word has become popular on porn boards, and is derived from Hester, wearer of the scarlet letter.
"I imagined you shoving that evian bottle in your cooch, and I had to go hesturbate"
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”
Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murdererused a serrated blade.
When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Short-hand for the word floccinaucinihilipilification, meaning the estimation of something as valueless (encountered mainly as an example of one of the longest words in the English language).