"Hey sport, whaddya say your old man teaches you to throw the ol' ball around today."
"Dad, I'm an All-American pitcher at U of Texas."
"Oh sorry son, the ol' ticker ain't what it used to be."
"Dad, please, you're embarrassing me in front of my bitch."

On Sunday we pray sports.

I was at work today, and some dickface dropped this line on me:

"What's up, sport? Think you can get me a drink there, chief? What do you say, champ?"

Injuries.
Mental Breakdowns.
"I can't, I have ____"
REAL sport

Soccer is a sport in which points are scored by kicking a ball into the opposing team's goal.

Cheerleading is not a sport because judges give you a subjective score.

I'm coming back to S'port this weekend.

Whether participating directly or merely watching, sports are a great way to pass time accomplishing absolutely nothing of real worth or value, but still make yourself feel good. See Also: masturbation