"Hey sport, whaddya say your old man teaches you to throw the ol' ball around today."
"Dad, I'm an All-American pitcher at U of Texas."
"Oh sorry son, the ol' ticker ain't what it used to be."
"Dad, please, you're embarrassing me in front of my bitch."

On Sunday we pray sports.

I'm coming back to S'port this weekend.

I was at work today, and some dickface dropped this line on me:

"What's up, sport? Think you can get me a drink there, chief? What do you say, champ?"

"Think we can turn butter-churning into a sport?"
"I'm a multi-billionaire. I'll see what I can do."

Injuries.
Mental Breakdowns.
"I can't, I have ____"
REAL sport

Whether participating directly or merely watching, sports are a great way to pass time accomplishing absolutely nothing of real worth or value, but still make yourself feel good. See Also: masturbation