hastur 

A stupid toad whose also a snitch but then again he watched his best friend die in front of him.

“ Hastur we don’t explode plant misters ”

hastur by Ineffablehoneyleaves October 19, 2020

Hashturbating 

A term used by members of the drinking/running club called the Hash House Harriers. It occurs when a member of such club is either excessively talking about hashing or tediously planning a hash trail.

Hasher 1: Where is Penis Fly Trap?
Hasher 2: Oh she's upstairs on Bing Maps hasturbating for her next June trail.
Hasher1: Jeebus it's been 2 hours!

Or:

Hasher 1: Dude! Last weeks trail had so much shiggy!! There was a wall of briars, and I swear Taint No Savior was going to need stitches! Then there was this tunnel that went on forever!!! OMG, and the beer check was up this creek and we had to swim-
Hasher2: I got it! I got! I missed a great trail. Quit hashturbating in front of me.

Hashturbating by P3nis Fly Trap April 30, 2015

Hasterfag 

To bluntly insult and/or spam someone continuously.

That guy is totally hasterfagging me!

Hasterfag by shshsh1 August 28, 2009

Hastard

A Horny Bastard. In every circle of friends, there is always a hastard. Thinks that all world problems can be solved if the world leaders jack- off more... Spends his whole day in his room doing you know what.... On the surface, he may appear normal, but deep inside his perverted psyche, there lies a sexual fiend. He has the largest collection of porn amongst anyone you know. Also, a hastard is a guy who never gets any real action, but goes solo always.

Where is the hastard?? Oh I can guess! He is probably in his room pleasing himself.

Stop hastarding around. Watching porn in the library! And I thought you could sink no lower!

You hastard! You used up all of my lube!

Hastard by Crastard April 27, 2009

Haturdo 

A half duck half anteater has two teath runs up to forty miles perhour has therr tungs that shoot acid and purple gunk and when one is killed it instantly lays an egg

shoot egg gunk Haturdo

Haturdo by Haturdo Master May 4, 2009

sneaky hastert

A sneaky Hastert involves performing an unwelcome sexual act, under the pretense of performing some other helpful action. The name comes from former house speaker Dennis Hastert, who allegedly molested members of a wrestling team he coached, under the pretense of assisting with the treatment of sport related injuries.

Person A: My groin cramped up in wrestling practice again, and the coach offered to help me stretch it out.

Person B: Oh, that was helpful.

Person A: It would have been, but while I was writing in pain, he jacked me off and fingered my asshole, then ran away while laughing maniacally and sniffing his fingers.

Person B: Ah, the old sneaky Hastert.

Person A: Yeah, I feel so violated.

sneaky hastert by butlerj June 15, 2016

hesturbate 

twiddle the bean or jack in an unusual manner, with thoughts of doing something particularly dirty that is not always associated with sex. Masturbation that is a mixture of very perverted and very funny. Often punctuated by Ha! This word has become popular on porn boards, and is derived from Hester, wearer of the scarlet letter.

"I imagined you shoving that evian bottle in your cooch, and I had to go hesturbate"

hesturbate by Olivia Yearns November 10, 2008