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Calculus is how we know everything about everything, except sex, maybe.

It is also a name for the page and a half of indecipherable foreplay used in university physics textbooks before they give you the formula for something.
Engineering student: I forgot the formula for the volume of a sphere, but I was able to figure it out from the area of a circle using calculus.
Non-engineering student: I looked in the back of the textbook.
by Nick Bentzen April 11, 2008
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"Hey, in our Calculus homework, why does the derivative of x^2 = 2x?"
"magic."
by MikeWatch February 09, 2009
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Sorcery devised by Isaac Newton, one of the most prestigious and powerful sorcerers in the world.

The degree of a Calculus major higher than a Ph.D is a Doctorate of Sorcery (S.d)
When you need help in Calculus class you should look to your Sorcerer's Assistant for help.
by CalcS.d March 04, 2011
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The one reason to allow Starbucks to take over the world.
"I have CALCULUS first hour?! Someone give me a fucking latte..."
by kissinclosets September 04, 2005
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legalized torture
The prisoners at Guantanamo Bay were subject to Calculus.

Subjecting people to Calculus should be considered a crime against humanity.
by nousernameidea October 02, 2013
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1.The branch of mathematics that is stereotypically recognized as being difficult and intimidating owing to the fact that it sounds like the word "calculator".
"Don't expect to pass calculus unless your mental math ability exceeds that of a TI-83"
by Tapier December 04, 2009
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Calculus is for anyone who ever complained that math isn't useful for anything. Calculus is a branch of mathematics that deals with problems involving changing rates. It has universal applications, finding its way into physics, engineering, medicine, economics, and anything that involves something changing. Calculus commands a great deal of notoreity from students learning it. But, like any form of mathematics, it is all pure logic, and if you understand it, it can be a very beautiful thing.
Newton and Leibniz both developed calculus on there own. Inventing calculus; now how fucking brilliant do you have to be to INVENT calculus? Pretty damn fucking brilliant.
by Fernando Martinez August 13, 2007
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