A portmanteau of ejaculates and calculates. Used to refer to a situation where a man calculates precisely when he will ejaculate in order to take a definitive action e.g . pulling out.
1) Tom ejalculates so he can avoid cumming inside girls, as he doesn't like to wear condoms.
2) "Last night, I had to ejalculate 'cause Sadie wanted me to finish on her tits.
2) "Last night, I had to ejalculate 'cause Sadie wanted me to finish on her tits.
by guywhowritethething August 5, 2016
Get the Ejalculates mug.A word created (most likely by teenagers new to the scene) by missppelling the word "ejaculates".
As a new word it needs a new definition, as such this word will now mean:
v. 1. When you ejaculate inside of a nun on the table on a Thursday with a mariachi band playing outside, while also taking a selfie and drinking tea.
v. -ed 2. A typo error.
As a new word it needs a new definition, as such this word will now mean:
v. 1. When you ejaculate inside of a nun on the table on a Thursday with a mariachi band playing outside, while also taking a selfie and drinking tea.
v. -ed 2. A typo error.
As a verb:
Guy 1: That mariachi band is really loud outside.
Nun 1: A little.
Guy 1: Oh god, I'm going to-- *ejalculates*
Guy 1: I spilled my tea everywhere... But that selfie is so going on FaceBook.
As a noun:
Guy 1: I like vajeyenas
Guy 2: Ugh, you totally ejalculated that sentence.
Guy 1: That mariachi band is really loud outside.
Nun 1: A little.
Guy 1: Oh god, I'm going to-- *ejalculates*
Guy 1: I spilled my tea everywhere... But that selfie is so going on FaceBook.
As a noun:
Guy 1: I like vajeyenas
Guy 2: Ugh, you totally ejalculated that sentence.
by |3 0 -|- July 31, 2016
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Get the ejalculates mug.After some confusing talk, Jesus got frustrated with the human language and shot out through the roof like a celestial ejaculate, right onto the bosom of heaven.
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Get the Celestial Ejaculate mug.Richard: "So, what happened to the Becky girl you saw last night"
Chad: "Well, she was a 6/10, I've seen better, so I had to Ejaculate and Evacuate. I think I may have even left my pack of gum there"
Chad: "Well, she was a 6/10, I've seen better, so I had to Ejaculate and Evacuate. I think I may have even left my pack of gum there"
by MamaWeegee July 2, 2018
Get the Ejaculate and Evacuate mug."I swear to God, if you don't stop that I'm going to rage ejaculate all over you and your extended family, pets included."
by DHK 2010 May 3, 2010
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