A corpocuck is typically an American who cucks out to corporations. Usually brainwashed into believing that outsourcing manufacturing, breaking down unions, and importing low wage tech workers is what makes
America great. You can spot them oftentimes on LinkedIn, giving out advice while they themselves aren’
t successful or reposting motivational memes.
A corpocuck is usually middle class, has a university
education, and works in the private sector making 35-55k a year living in a city that taxes them half of that while rent and food eats up the rest. A corpocuck watches corporate media like Fox News or CNN, probably read, “7 habits of highly successful teens,” has been posting “Stay Home” stories on Instagram about
quarantine by regurgitating facts, and is usually in a job that has literally
zero tangible effect on the
world.
A corpocuck is absolutely stoked about deciding between a Orange
Rapist and a Senile Rapist competing to sit in the Oval Office. A corpocuck really cares about the stock market, despite having no stocks himself / herself, and prides himself on the $70 Lacoste shirts he buys from China.
M: “
Hey, did you see
Josh’s LinkedIn post about how we need to increase immigration, while complaining about how his 4,000th job application was rejected?”
J: “Jesus Christ, what a corpocuck”
M: “did you hear
Matt pays $1500 a month to live in a literal
ghetto and drive 45 minutes one way to an animation studio in Hollywood that pays him 35k a year, after blowing 240k on
college?”
J: “Jesus Christ, what a corpocuck”
M: “did you hear about how Remy’s new engineering job at Disney pays 50k a year?”
J: “uhh, no, but that’s okay I guess. You’d think an engineer on the west coast would make more tbh.”
M: “yeah, to celebrate he got a brand new Tesla lease, while he’s still on his old Honda lease, and bought himself a new computer for WoW! Now there’s some trouble paying the rent tho, so he’s moving back home.”
J: “Jesus Christ, what a corpocuck”
M: “Ramone said you’re a
lazy communist because you think Jeff Bezos is an
asshole.”
J: “Jesus Christ, what a corpocuck. Ramone’s a 35 year old man that lives with his mom, has been unemployed since he left the marines after a tour in a warehouse in Nebraska a decade ago, has lived off the GI Bill since and has yet to complete a single
college class.”