advisor 

Advisors are the highest-ranking aliens on Half-Life. Their body shape is worm-like and they have robotic devices to enhance their abilities. They have a long, disgusting, long tongue that can inject into numerous materials (e.g. flesh, skin etc. etc.) And it's probably how they feed themselves. They have the ability to levitate and fly. They have telekinetic powers as they can crush, pull/push things with their mind. They have a weird, ancient-looking collar around their... Neck? Anyways, It has some strange signs and it probably means something, meh.

(noun) Flying maggot

Oh, Hi Advisor! *death*

advisor by Solo_D January 8, 2017

Service Advisor 

Helps people at the dealership when they are having car problems.

Service Advisor works long hours, gets paid very little, and takes the blame for everything.

Service Advisor by dcdlrjrcp October 9, 2009

Service advisor 

Worst possible job in a dealership in which everything is your fault, people curse you daily and your coworkers are worthless.

Hey man lets go fuck with a service advisor today and make his job even harder than it already is!

Service advisor by Johnjingle August 31, 2013

spiritual advisor 

Another term for bartender.

"Are you having a Mojito Diablo or an Italian Apple martini?"
"I dunno, let me consult the Spiritual Advisor on duty."

spiritual advisor by vegasrew April 25, 2007

I am not a financial advisor 

A term used by degenerates who want the credibility and reputation of an actual financial advisor but don't want the accountability and liability that comes along with it. Mainly used by room temperature IQ individuals on TikTok, Youtube, Twitter, etc under the age 21 who probably don't even have a degree, CFA, or any knowledge about basic economics yet feel the need to give financial advice.

You can find them on social media using terms like #ToTheMoon #Stonks #DiamondHands and bandwagoning the latest hype stock or meme crypto and then never to be seen again until another hype stock is talked about by the masses as they don't know anything else about the financial world other than riding the current trend.

They are somewhat related to furus (fake gurus) who want to sell you $1000 courses on stock market education you could probably find on the internet with a few minutes of research. These wannabe financial advisors love to talk about meme stocks and cryptos as well as telling people to #BuyTheDip or #HODL #DoNotSell while still putting in their disclaimer "All posts are opinions and I do not give buy, hold, or sell recommendations."

The problem with these fake advisors is that they think saying they aren't financial advisors creates a loophole where they can't be held liable for their advice. This is literally the same concept as using copyrighted material and saying "No copyright infringement intended" which completely contradicts their statement.

Actual financial advisor: I use highly complex algorithms and statistical modeling to determine accurate probabilities on my investments and can show you that investing in the S&P500 index has proven to give around a 10% return for the past 10 years

Wannabe financial advisor: stonks go brrr, doge to the moon, buy the dip guys, apes strong together *loses life savings after yoloing it on 0 day expiration options*

Actual financial advisor: This person definitely has "I am not a financial advisor" in their bio

I am not a financial advisor by Mediocre Quant June 17, 2021

Financial Advisor 

A person who learns about money only to find that people make random emotional decisions. The sacrificial lamb of the urban jungle. When financial markets are up, even the most ignorant advisor looks like a hero. When markets are down, the most professional and savvy advisor will be trash talked, fired and sued.

Hey, how come you're driving that piece of crap car?

I was a financial advisor in 2008.

Hey, who's that guy in the Mercedes?

That was a financial adviser who retired in 2007.

Financial Advisor by Bluetired February 19, 2010

American Express Financial Advisor

A group of people who are in the middle of a class action lawsuit, because they conned a bunch of clients into investing in funds that would mostly benefit the advisor.

If you get a phone call from an American Express Financial Advisor, my advise to you is to run. These advisors live in nice homes off of "your" money

American Express Financial Advisor by Conned October 15, 2008