A foul retail beastie that manifests itself as an
individual who waits well beyond any rational deadline to begin a MASSIVE project and then proceeds to make everyone in the service industry who is within their sphere of influence subservient to the process of completing the project on time. Generally supercedes the needs of the less severe but equally
disturbing "Procrastidons" who roam in vast aimless herds intent on bothering various retail clerks with super-innocuous pseudo-questions and random requests, most of which are
completely irrelevant to the task at hand but are invoked nonetheless.
Kinkos wonk:"May I help you?"
Procrastidon 1: "Hi, yes I need..."
Procrastidon 2: "Wait, Me. I always go first..."
Procrastidon 3: "I gotta have this 10 minutes ago yesterday. Step aside."
Procrastidon 4:" It says 'copies' on the sign out front. Do you wash cars? Do you like your job?"
Procrastisaurus:"OUTTA THE WAY! THIS IS A MATTER OF UNMATCHED URGENCY! NOW MOVE IT!"
Kinkos wonk: "Sir, this person was here before y..."
Procrastisaurus:"YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF THE MAGNITUDE OF URGENCY ATTACHED TO THIS PROJECT! CLEAR THE WAY YOU
LITTLE BASTARDS!!!"
Kinkos wonk:"
I have to go take a shit..."
Procrastisaurus:"AAAAARRRGHHHHHH!!!! BOOM!!!"
Procrastidon 1: " Oh cool...his head blew up."
Procrastidon 4:"Can I...like... get that car wash now but without the car cuz...like... that loud guy got brains all over my fries n' stuff and I can't eat 'em now. Can I get another order of fries instead? Where am I?
