Skip to main content

Masturdebate

1. (verb): the process of masturbating before making an executive decision in regards to one's love life. This noteworthy event takes place in hopes to think in a clear state-of-mind about a situation--before putting one's self-respect at high-risk; clearing the mind; avoiding "grenades"; avoiding desperate times for desperate measures.
Friend #1: Hey buddy, what are you up to?

Friend #2: Just texting the girl I met from the party last week. She wants me to go over to her place tonight, and have a few drinks with her.

Friend #1: Dude you know she is a train wreck. You had your beer goggles on, or are you really just that desperate? You might want to go masturdebate on it for awhile, before you do something you might regret.

Friend #2: Yeah you're probably right.
(a few minutes later)

Friend #2: Oh man! I can't believe I was actually going to go over there. What the fuck was I thinking?! Good call. Let's go get a beer or something.
Masturdebate by Cbunt801 December 16, 2011

Masturdating

Going out alone. I.e. seeing a movie by yourself, going to a restaurant alone.
Dude I saw No Country for Old Men twice by myself. I'm addicted to chronic masturdating
Masturdating by Mikeparsh September 25, 2010

Masturdebatis 

When you can’t keep your eyes away from half the girls on your debate team during the tournament but see them after the weekend and feel no attraction to them whatsoever
I’ve got some real masturdebatis after that tournament man, she used to seem so hot!

Masturdate 

To take oneself out when one has no date
I couldn't find anyone to go out with me, so I decided to masturdate. I took myself out for dinner and a movie.
Masturdate by MicklePickle January 4, 2015

Masturdextrous 

The ability to effectively masturbate with both hands.
Man, my right hand is broken and I'm horny. Good thing I'm masturdextrous!
Masturdextrous by SoulStealr December 14, 2010

Masturdbating 

Occurs when one masturbates whilst taking a massive shit, dump, or if you have a code brown.
"Yo Anita Dump, do you hear the faint rhythmic slapping noise coming from the bathroom?"

"Yeah Hugh Janus, I was wondering what that noise was..."

**FART-PLOP-POOPNOISES**

"Ugh, I think Johnson is masturdbating again..."
Masturdbating by Shho13 April 19, 2014