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Handbrain 

A smartphone, or any small, multifunction, touchscreen communications device which effectively allows the user to stop thinking.

Named for the Handbrain devices in Howard Tayler's Schlock Mercenary.
Ever since Kaff got that new Handbrain, he's barely been talking with us at all.
Handbrain by Dr. Jingo December 12, 2012
Related Words

Handwriter 

I’d say I’m somewhat of a handwriter myself
Handwriter by The-Judge May 12, 2020

2 hander 

when a guy's dick is so long that when he's hard he can grab it with both hands and the head sticks out of the top of your hand
manson: mmmmm twiggy I love your 2 hander baby

twiggy: I wish you had a 2 hander like mine :(
2 hander by deff2258 June 18, 2009

horseshoes and handgrenades 

The only time/s that almost actually counts.
Mark: "I almost beat that guy!"
John: "Almost only counts in horseshoes and handgrenades."

Palmela Handerson 

1) The sad hand you use to masturbate with that you wish was a real woman.

2) The happy hand you’re really proud to masturbate with when you’ve given up on real women.
Its been hard lately man, Palmela Handerson just hasn’t been enough lately.

Well Shelly was a real bitch, glad I’m with Palmela Handwrson now.
Palmela Handerson by Cerebrus12 January 20, 2019

Bastard Handwriting

Paul's bastard handwriting is barely legible.
Bastard Handwriting by Zoneranger January 28, 2007