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Pale, tatted up, funny guy who likes big boobs and porn! He likes to slide down poles.....he's a firefighter! and he likes to get drunk n try to hump girls on the beach and throw them in the water, even if they dont wanna go. He has an enormous package, so i heard....but that also leads to a huge (mooseknuckle), but he's ok with that. He gets excited easily by things like tootsie pops, hersheys kisses, and camel toes. But if u really get to know him he can be a real kevin!! I am glad i met this falker cuz he's actually pretty cool!! But his moose knuckle distracts me...lol
1. Omg! Look at that guy on the beach humping that BIG Girl, Looks like he's pullin a Falkner!!

2. Man look at that dudes package, He's Packin a Falkner!

3. I know he is gonna get me back, because he's falkner! LoL
Falkner by HAHAHAHA J/k April 6, 2010
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Jared Falkner 

A stupid ginger who only tells racist jokes and like a girl named amy
Jared Falkner by JoeMason April 28, 2017

Newton Faulkner 

The most amazinggg musician ever! I can't believe he hasn't been defined yet! He is the proud owner of iceee coolll dreadlocks, a great personality, and an unbelievable musical ability. He plays acoustic guitar and sings and is very famous in the UK. Some of the songs you may have heard by him are 'Dream catch me' 'Gone in the morning' 'UFO' and 'Feels like home'...but there are loads more. If you haven't heard them, listen to them! :D
You: Ohh yeahh whatevs, I bet Newton Faulkner isn't as legendary as this chick says he is.

Me: Yes he is as a matter of fact! goshhh.
Newton Faulkner by Millstaa February 18, 2009

Faulknerize 

The process of going from a calm state of being to an out of control lunatic via a carefully tread 6-step process that moves from calm to agitated into masked anger, then irritability on to retaliatory, followed by irrational and concluding with explosive
Did you see Claire Faulknerize Sam earlier today? They could hear her three floors down. Man Claire moved through the six steps like a border collie in a weave pole contest.
Faulknerize by Furry Trout March 18, 2010
to go from being a nerd to getting all the hot girls
he chucked a faulkner
faulkner by miccre January 14, 2007
A person who is a Facebook Stalker. Tries to add you as a friend multiple times even though you have no idea who they are. After many failed attempts they get mad enough to send you numerous emails asking why you won't add them as a friend thus making them look psychotic and stalker-ish.
Haley is such a psycho, she needs to get a life. She tried friending me on Facebook 10 times this month and I keep ignoring it. Then she sent me a few emails demanding to know why I won't add her as a friend. I don't know you, leave me along you "Falker"!
Falker by SassyJax01 December 2, 2010
Verb:
come from the English word "falter"
1. When a person stops action due to pointless trivial statements, tends to be associated with entertainment or film news. Has the effect to create lapses in time awareness that astonishes people when they realize how long they've been "faulknered." (especially during a game of beer pong)

Noun:
2. The ability to waste copious time through the use of trivial knowledge and news
verb: "It's 1am already? We've just been faulknered!"

noun: "Damn it, he's a Faulkner."
Faulkner by starfro67 January 4, 2010