'Witless Dishcloth' is a derogatory term used to insult someone when they are being obnoxious and time-wasting. This phrase was coined by James May on the first episode of season three of the Amazon Prime Exclusive and Original, The Grand Tour.

1st example (origin): I just wanna say, Hammond, you witless dishcloth!
2nd example: Patrick, are you repeating Year 11 at school? Dale asked
Patrick: Dale, I DON'T wanna talk about it mate. Alright?!? Just give it up moiiiite.
Dale: Oi dickhead, just fuckin tell me yeh?
Patrick: Just blud off, blud! Alright?!!
Dale: Oh Partick you fuckin witless dishcloth, just get the rest of the business notes down on the google doc dickhead.

Witless Dishcloth by dalespelman2 September 23, 2019

Related Words

Witless Protection Program • Witlet • WITL • witlag • witlee • witler • Witless • witless bitch • witless cunt • Witless Dishcloth

witless fucking cocksplat

a funny Fuckface von Clownstick insult coined by the Scots. others include incompressible jizzvon Clownsticket, Mangled apricot hellbeast, and others

used by brexit scotland when fuckface von clownstick was visiting scotland.they were calling him a witless fucking cocksplat

witless fucking cocksplat by curtis450 September 7, 2017

witless bitch

One who finds themself very funny, though no else around them does.

Gina is a witless bitch; she's the only one that laughs at her "jokes".

witless bitch by Jacques December 23, 2004

Jehovah's Witless

A derogatory nickname for a Jehovah's Witness, refering to the apparent witless, clueless and lamebrain beliefs (as percieved by normal persons) of the church dogma and its members.

Do you Jehovah's Witlesses always dress like dorks or are these just your Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes?

Jehovah's Witless by GBofWI March 18, 2007

witlessism

witlessism (wit less iz em) NOUN. A failed attempt to sound wise or clever.

"I'm telling you there's an enemy that would like to attack America, Americans, again. There just is. That's the reality of the world. And I wish him all the very best." -George W. Bush, Jan. 12, 2009

"I've been in the Bible every day since I've been the president." -George W. Bush, Nov. 12, 2008

"It's in our country's interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm's way." -George W. Bush, April 28, 2005

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." -George W. Bush, Aug. 5, 2004

Are good examples of witlessisms.

witlessism by Maxhole June 25, 2009

witlag

Someone who is slow on the uptake. This person often laughs a long time after a joke's punchline.

He laughed at that joke so late that he obviously has witlag.

In the Star Trek movie, Generations, where data finally got the joke from the episode, Encounter at Farpoint.

"Data, I made that joke seven years ago" - Geordi
"I know, I just got it!" - Data

witlag by Brian Pleshek January 17, 2007

Whale

In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.

"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."

Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020

Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.

Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.

Concrete cowboy by EugeneJohnson42000 March 16, 2024

Word of the Day on September 20, 2026

hobo loko

any hard liquor that is cheap & potent.. eg. relska, popov, potters, evan williams, kamchatka, fireball, rumpleminze, southern comfort, everclear

hey let's get a drink of that?

go ahead
*takes drink* ugh wtf is that?

everclear & bepsi
fucking hobo loko eeessshh

hobo loko by d i z k o 2 0 8 September 14, 2026

Word of the Day on September 19, 2026

God Shot

A chance happening with profound meaning, an unexpected blessing, a "sign".

Dr. Drew on Celebrity Rehab said "All of a sudden what had been just another Hollywood proposal became for him an unexpected blessing, an opportunity for growth. In drug recovery language, that's called a "God shot."

God Shot by Imogen1564 February 25, 2011

Word of the Day on September 18, 2026

city chicken

A food native to Pittsburgh/Western Pennsylvania in which cubes of pork and/or veal are put on a short, wooden skewer, breaded, then baked and/or fried.

I've heard that city chicken originated during the Great Depression, when folks didn't have enough money to buy full cuts of meat, so they assembled meat scraps on a wooden skewer, creating a make-shift drumstick. Hence the name.

Are yinz havin' city chicken for dinner?

city chicken by TRF August 31, 2006

Word of the Day on September 17, 2026

Is that cake?

Another way to say is this fake? Like the show real or cake

“Slayyyter just announced another album last night”
“No way, is that cake?”
“Yeah whoops this isn’t real”

Is that cake? by Sexyyred September 15, 2026

Word of the Day on September 16, 2026