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velcrotard 

Velcrotard (vel-crow-tard) - noun:

1 Someone that is intellectually inept; slow; stupid. An insinuation that someone is so stupid they cannot learn to tie their own shoes.
Person A: Hey, did you hear Brandon got caught with a 15 year old?

Person B: Really? Somehow I'm not surprised. He's pretty fucking stupid sometimes.

Person A: Yeah man, he's a real velcrotard.
velcrotard by JayrAir October 15, 2010

velcrofart 

a Velcrofart describes the situation where, to pluck an example out of thin air, a bloke called Binkie has been ordered out of the Dandy Lion Arms, because the fumes from his Arse are upsetting the licensee's children, but when he re-enters the bar, the gut-wrenching stench follows him back in.
Bert - Christ who ripped that one?
Sam - Oh No! Binkie's dropped another velcrofart; they stick to him like Bud Flanagan used to stick to Chesney Allen ...
velcrofart by bromp April 16, 2009

Velcrosnuggle 

When two people snuggle so hard in their sleep that to pull them apart would be like pulling apart velcro.
Bob and Dave velcrosnuggled the night away in the sleeping bag.
Velcrosnuggle by ThoreauInSF September 25, 2013

Velcrotch 

A sexually-transmitted condition that occurs during coitus and cures itself immediately upon separation of the pubic areas.

This condition is caused by the rough shaven pubic hair of one partner becoming entangled in the curly unshaven pubic hair of the other partner. As the name suggests, it would create a velcro-like fastening of the 2 crotch areas, requiring a substantial force to separate them.

Symptoms include: decreased ability to retract, loud ripping sounds from the genital area, and hair loss.
Johnny's bushy-haired girlfriend is walking funny today because he gave her velcrotch last night. It ripped the muff clean off her.
Velcrotch by 1nv3rt1g0 November 28, 2010

velcroic 

Like "magnetic" only with Velcro
That fuzzy sweater is really velcroic
velcroic by The DopeHatMan August 1, 2004
Shoes with velcro fasten straps instead of shoe laces, ideal for getting naked at fast speeds in because you don't have to untie your shoes. Definitely a worthwhile purchase.
Velcros by Yung Corduroy September 19, 2010