Velcrotard (vel-crow-tard) - noun:
1] Someone that is intellectually inept; slow; stupid. An insinuation that someone is so stupid they cannot learn to tie their own shoes.
Person A: Hey, did you hear Brandon got caught with a 15 year old?
Person B: Really? Somehow I'm not surprised. He's pretty fucking stupid sometimes.
Person A: Yeah man, he's a real velcrotard.