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smack monkey 

Someone who is dependent on heroin.
Especially one who is non-athletic and avoids conflict.
See: Smackhead
Kid: Mummy! Why is that man selling his shoes?
Mum: Just ignore him, honey! He's a dirty little smack monkey.
smack monkey by leimagnus September 25, 2013

Lemme pull up to your bumper and smack that monkey 

In, nonebonical terms, i would like to make love to you.
Damn, bitch u stupid fly, lemme pull up to your bumper and smack that monkey.

smack the monkey 

A Slang word for Male Masturbation
Guy: What you gonna do tonite?
Other Guy: Im gonna smack the monkey!
smack the monkey by jo4n5 July 15, 2005

Smack that monkey 

Verb; Pregame of clapping them cheeks. It’s the best way to end a Saturday night, the monkey isn’t gonna smack itself. Ya heard?
Dylan fled from Danville to hurry home & smack that monkey.

I was on my way to the hiney, but first I just had to smack that monkey to make her happy.
Smack that monkey by King Draco November 24, 2018

monk sack 

The religous practice of removing ones penis, but leaving the scrotum intact; thereby eliminating the abilty to perform sexual acts but not the desire. Often performed by Buhdist monks.
Monks have it rough! Imagine never being able to rub one out!

Why?
Because they have a Monk Sack!
monk sack by Twiste 13 December 2, 2013

smack my church monkey 

The process of destroying a persons day or life, or it can literally be taken as "smacking a monkey that is employed by the Magisterium." Thirdly it can be taken as direct interjection of religion into a persons life.

Origins: the 2007 theatrical version of The Golden Compass, Where Nicole Kiddman lays the smackdown on a poor defenseless primate.
"Why are you always trying to smack my church monkey?"
"I shouldn't have done that, it feels like I just got smacked by a church monkey."
smack my church monkey by JaKeJa January 3, 2008