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phobeismist 

1. noun: A person who is engaged in and has expert knowledge in all things offensive, especially regarding race and sex. A professional phobismist views it as their duty to tell you why you should be offended.

2. noun: One who studies human behavior and culture to answer questions regarding all things offensive. A phobeismist may be involved in studying political correctness, being offended on someone else's behalf who is not offended, policing of ideas and language, and other free-speech-limiting activities.

Derived from phobe, ism, and ist.
My friend at Berkeley is studying hard to become a professional phobeismist.
phobeismist by Unframeofmind November 26, 2019

Phoneism 

phoneism is judging a phone that is not as good as another phone.
guy 1:eww the samsung is so bad unlike the iphone!

guy2: hey dude that’s phoneism. don’t say that man
Phoneism by itsthatpersson556 April 2, 2018

Phonetimer 

A woman who calls her husband every five minutes to tell him what time it is and to get his ass home.
Linda is such a Phonetimer when Chris and I drink beer in the garage.
Phonetimer by The Sherriff is near January 20, 2008

jhonenism 

a religion based around all-mighty cartoon artist Jhonen Vasquez! formed in the town of Lynnwood, Washington, and preached to the poor unsuspecting town of Arlington, WA and poor random internet users... and random hobos... children around the world will soon all love Jhonen with an uncontrollable urge of head-splodey joy.
Random Jhonenist: Come to the Church of Orthodox Jhonenists!!! Today we shall dissect our Bible, the JTHM Director's Cut, in search of the meaning of life!!!
Other Jhonenist: But... people keep getting killed in that "bible" of yours...
First Jhonenist: AHA!!! that's it!!! the meaning of life is that there is none!!! PRAISE JHONEN FILTHY WORM-BABY!!!!!
Random Hobo: Stupid Jhonenism... I remember the days of real religion... like Dirgolicism.
jhonenism by Jhonenists1&3 April 4, 2009

Phonesmack 

The act of randomly smacking someone in the face with your cellphone.
You my friend, have just been phonesmacked.
Phonesmack by Miaed May 6, 2011

Phonegasm 

When you're trying to call your friends on their cellular phone, but no one answers, because they inserted it into their own anus, vagina or in extreme cases in that little hole in the tip of the penis. Thus they do not receive your call, but are given an orgasm.
Hello? hellohellohe Hello Tom loTomlom. What's with the eccho, cchocho are you... youou Are you in a cave or- veoror AM I GIVING YOU A PHONEGASM?!!! gasmasmasm

I must remember to insert my phone with free access to the power outlet, so that I can keep getting phonegasms all day long!
Phonegasm by Harlot Sisters May 4, 2010