Paintenance 

1/ The application of paint by machine tool dealers to the surfaces of used goods in order to enhance the potential buyer's perception of the frequency, thoroughness & quality of maintenance which the item has received from its previous owner.
2/ Something similar to the above carrried out by apprentices when there is nothing better to do

Bloke 1: Is this machine new?
Bloke 2: No, it has just had a heavy coat of paintenance.

Paintenance by Alec Vallance December 19, 2008

crowbar maintenance 

An event which is not actually maintenance, but a form of destruction or demolition.

"The building was undergoing 'crowbar maintenance'. It was rubble by the next day."

crowbar maintenance by tdog59 July 15, 2009

Maintenance Wank

When you're participating in nofap and you begin to over sexualise things, like apple pies and peanut butter sandwhiches, it's time for a maintenance wank. This keeps your inner sexual deviant at bay, while also reducing the amount of awkward boners you might experience.

Guy 1: "I keep getting stiffies when I see anything that vaguely resembles titties or a vagina, it's killing me."
Guy 2: "Mate, it's time for a maintenance wank. If you don't let off some pressure, your dick is going to take over."

Maintenance Wank by Zima69err July 13, 2016

Maintenance Cocktail 

Spirits generally mixed with some sort of fruit juice and normally consumed in the late morning and/or early afternoon to help alleviate a particularly nasty hangover. Standard versions include Vodka/Cranberry, Screwdrivers, left over Hard Seltzers, and of course the Danimal. Also known as a Breakfast Cocktail when in Maui, a Maintenance Cocktail is essential for anyone who needs to rally and is eager to start working on the next day’s hangover.

Dave: Woof, I think we went a little overboard on the Peach Daiquiris last night..

Yoko: That’s why I stuck with white wine all night like a boss.

Dave: Good for you. I need to screw my head back on with a Maintenance Cocktail. Pass me the Gin and Tang.

Maintenance Cocktail by Falcon Thunder Fist March 24, 2022

Shaft Maintenance 

When you got to clear the weeds, release some finely aged fluids, wax and lube up the shaft.

Person A: Hey bro you free tomorrow?
Person B: Naw bro I got shaft maintenance!

Shaft Maintenance by Bosancheros September 14, 2016

Percussive Maintenance 

The fine art of bludgeoning an electronic device in order to encourage it to work properly. Vigorous usage of this technique often renders said device permanently nonfunctional.

My goddamned monitor was flickering until I used some percussive maintenance; now it's totally dead and Help Desk is bringing me a new one.

Percussive Maintenance by naz_ghul March 14, 2003

maintenance call 

Periodic phone calls placed to one's significant other when out for a prolonged period of time (eg 4 hours or more) with friends. The periodic phone call is intentionally structured to prevent a blow-up or fight after the outing is concluded, which would invariably take ten times longer to resolve that the time to place a brief check-in call.

"Hey, let me put in a maintenance call to my woman, before we go into the bar."

maintenance call by RFsquash January 8, 2012