Fartfinger
Non-ficticious underworld crimeboss who is widely regarded as being the stencil for the majority of "movie baddies".
Born with a hole in his face and a spur on his elbow, Fartfinger rose steadily through the ranks of "local hardmen" whilst still at kindergarten in Vienna. It was here that he had his first brush with the law following an incident with a nun, a Bolivian monkey and an umbrella.
At age 9, in the beautiful city of Belfast, he was finally arrested - on charges of stealing Antwerp - but got away scot-free as a result of eating many people involved in the case, including the judge, the prosecutor, twenty-seven kittens, the jury and his own mother.
Following an awful incident where he saw the film 'Bad Eggs' Fartfinger decided to travel to Australia to kill several awful actors and writers. Sadly it was during a train journey across australia to sydney in his search for these silver-screen villains that he fell ill with 'poisoned face' and he is now buried, albeit still alive, somewhere in the Nullabor along with what is rumoured to be EVERYTHING to do with the film 'Bad Eggs'.
What an awful film the 'Bad Eggs' are.
Born with a hole in his face and a spur on his elbow, Fartfinger rose steadily through the ranks of "local hardmen" whilst still at kindergarten in Vienna. It was here that he had his first brush with the law following an incident with a nun, a Bolivian monkey and an umbrella.
At age 9, in the beautiful city of Belfast, he was finally arrested - on charges of stealing Antwerp - but got away scot-free as a result of eating many people involved in the case, including the judge, the prosecutor, twenty-seven kittens, the jury and his own mother.
Following an awful incident where he saw the film 'Bad Eggs' Fartfinger decided to travel to Australia to kill several awful actors and writers. Sadly it was during a train journey across australia to sydney in his search for these silver-screen villains that he fell ill with 'poisoned face' and he is now buried, albeit still alive, somewhere in the Nullabor along with what is rumoured to be EVERYTHING to do with the film 'Bad Eggs'.
What an awful film the 'Bad Eggs' are.
Fartfinger by James Gilbertsen February 1, 2004
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