The Colbear is Stephen Colbert'
s arch
nemesis. The Colbear was trained in the dark arts of the Sith on the planet Korriban. The Colbear is also a member of NAMBLA, the North American Man-Bear Love Association, whose president is believed to be Michael Moore.
The Colbear has all of the strong qualities of each individual
type of bear. It can climb trees, swim in the arctic waters, and catch leaping salmon with its massive lightsaber paws.
It is
said that one
day Stephen Colbert and the Colbear will face off. We do not know when. We do not know how. All we know, is that there will be justice.
James, what the
hell is that flying towards your head?
I think it's a lightsaber?
What the
hell, is that a bear?
That's the Colbear!
Run, he can kill you with his MIND!