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Wood Ornament 

A beautiful female specimen worth permanently mounting upon your erect penis for all the world to see.
Example 1: Check her out...I would so make her my wood ornament.

-or-

Example 2: (pick up line) Excuse me ma'am, how would you like to be my wood ornament?

Boneamental 

(Bone-Ah-mental) An erection which serves no sexual purpose
His morning wood was alot like when he got wood wrestling his sister, it was just boneamental...
Boneamental by craBsnatcher May 1, 2011

christmas ornament 

a peice of shit hanging from your penis after giveing anal
guy 1 well i fucked amanda up the ass
Guy2 how was it?
Guy 1 good until i got a christmas ornament

dick ornament 

A comely young woman who would look right at home perched on your penis. Used as a decoration for your wang.
"Heather looks nice tonight, maybe I'll use her as a dick ornament."
dick ornament by Silence March 26, 2003

Bointment 

Bointment is a non-existent metaphorical ointment you recommend to people when they get butthurt. It is a topical ointment applied on top of both cheeks to relieve any unjustified butthurtedness.
Tristan: “Bro, that’s so wack you won that game of Mario Party strictly on bonus stars!”
Stephen: “Do you need some Bointment bro?”
Bointment by Ploomer August 27, 2020

Ornament Eyes 

Being so completely shacked that your eyes look like a freshly polished pair of red Christmas ornaments. Can be easily remedied with a heavy dose of Visine.
Parent: Where were you, ornament eyes? Torching some hippie lettuce?
You: I went uhh ... swimming.
Ornament Eyes by Lenwah August 20, 2011