Bointment 

Bointment is a non-existent metaphorical ointment you recommend to people when they get butthurt. It is a topical ointment applied on top of both cheeks to relieve any unjustified butthurtedness.

Tristan: “Bro, that’s so wack you won that game of Mario Party strictly on bonus stars!”
Stephen: “Do you need some Bointment bro?”

Bointment by Ploomer August 27, 2020

Bointment 

A collaboration of boy and ointment. This is a multi-purpose substance used for many things including facial moisturizer, teeth whitener, hair conditioner, laundry detergent, and baby making.

Wow, Nick, all this bointment sure has been making my teeth sparkle!

I might go blind if I get any more of this bointment in my eye!!

Bointment by MC-Hammer- September 26, 2011

Ointment Nurse

A complimentary term toward a nurse who places ointment in the fornix of eyes after eye muscle surgery.

Doctor: “Ointment nurse.”... “Ointment nuuuuuurse.”

Nurse: I’ll be there in a second to place the ointment.

Ointment Nurse by Bill Brasky the man June 19, 2018

Sacred Ointment 

The Ointment Chris Sabat likes to apply during his casting couches

Stephanie: No Chris! Keep your Sacred Ointment away from me!

Sacred Ointment by Anime Boobies September 8, 2019

a fly in the ointment 

A minor irritation, or hiccup that makes a failure out of something that would otherwise have been a success.

There is always a fly in the ointment! My ticket matched all six white numbered balls, but didn't match the green Lucky Ball! Still scored one hundred thousand!!! I ain't mad at 'em!

a fly in the ointment by talk2me-JCH2 April 9, 2021

Ointment and pee 

What old people smell like

"You smell like ointment and pee."
"No, YOU smell like ointment and pee!"

Ointment and pee by America Lover 🇺🇸 December 11, 2018

tointment 

Literally: Tit Ointment. Derogatory term used to emasculated males trying to be a pussy/homo/jimmy

I have to go home, I need to douche and put on tointment. I am a homo.

tointment by Jesse Seitel March 29, 2008