Bointment is a non-existent metaphorical ointment you recommend to people when they getbutthurt. It is a topical ointment applied on top of both cheeks to relieve any unjustified butthurtedness.
Tristan: “Bro, that’s so wack you won that game of Mario Party strictly on bonusstars!”
Stephen: “Do you need some Bointment bro?”