Alphabetic 

When someone gets so drunk that when they cannot stop laughing it sounds like they are a asthmatic hyperventilating. Alphabetisism most frequently occurs from drinking too much Sicilian white wine!

It can also be more simply used to described getting really drunk.

Georgy: *Is laughing but taking continuous short shallow breaths, sounds like she is struggling to breath*

Stephen: Georgy are you alphabetic?

Or

Stephen: I want to get totally Alphabetic tonight!!!!

Alphabetic by Sicily2014 July 26, 2014

Alphabetic Mathematics 

The act of combining words to form new words that seem to combine to of the definitions.

fucktard is an example of Alphabetic Mathematics

Alphabetic Mathematics by Kaiser Tyan September 25, 2005

alphabetic attributes 

'Stats 'n' specs of various items, in A-Z order:
AAttributes: Da minutes of your last sobriety meeting.
BATtributes: Details of either (1) baseball-whacking devices or (2) winged cave-dwelling mammals (bonus fact --- they are **not** blind!)
CATtributes: Da specifics of what makes Garfield tick.
DATtributes: Da nitty-gritty about modern recording-cassettes.
EATtributes: How someone stuffs his face.
FATtributes: Similar to da previous definition, except dat it measures how obese said face-stuffer gets from his debauched gluttony.
GATTributes: Da specifics of da infamous "free 'n' fair worldwide commerce" resolution.
HATtributes: Da fussy details about your headwear.
JATtributes: Da unique culture of northeast-area inhabitants of India and Pakistan.
KATTributes: Da airing-schedule and programming-themes of da OKC-based FM radio station.
LATTributes: Da main plot of da famous "cute doggies nibbling da same strand of spaghetti" animated movie.
MATtributes: Da make/model, dimensions, color, texture, firmness, etc. of yer exercise-pad.

More examples of alphabetic attributes include:
NATtributes: What makes Nathan his own unique self.
OATtributes: Da quality and price of da grain dat you feed your hoofed-and-maned friend in da back yard.
PATtributes: Specifics of either (1) when/how ya administer soothing/affectionate "laying on of hands", or (2) what's special about your Irish guy/gal-pal.
QATtributes: Da appearance, growing-method, uses, etc. of da euphoria-producing flowering plant from Ethiopia.
RATtributes: How Mr. Mole's best friend lives and thinks.
SATtributes: Describes how students are forced to plant their butts for long periods to take a stupid end-of-term exam.
TATtributes: Da "getting even" specifics dat Madea describes to Dr. Phil during their infamous "getters gettin' got" dialogue.
VATtributes: Da dimensions, volume/capacity, etc. of large open-topped storage/processing tubs.

WATTributes: Describes da quality/quantity of da angry pixies supplied by da power company.
XATtributes: What a specific totem pole looks like, and da history behind it.
YATtributes: Da unique qualities of New Orleans accents.
ZATtributes: Za zhortcut of zaying, "Is that".

alphabetic attributes by QuacksO March 24, 2021

alphabetic odometers 

Assorted advancing-digits-style counting-devices for keeping track of how many/much of something dat you've acquired, consumed, performed, achieved, etc., such as:
beaudometer: da snuggly-'n'-smoochy heart-throbs you have in your life
blowdometer: either da number of raps dat a hammer has struck, or da mushy-hearted studs whom an expert-wif-her-mouth chick like da infamous smoochy-lipped Monica L. has "serviced"
brodometer: da "main man" dudes in your world
crowdometer: either da times you triumphantly brag during a given period of time, or da large noisy ebony-feathered individuals you have befriended
fauxdometer: da cheap-a**-knockoff items dat a fly-by-night manufacturer has managed to foist onto naive buyers
flowdometer: da passage of resources to/from you

foedometer: da significantly-unfriendly-to-you members of society
glowdometer: da successes you have when installing/changing light bulbs
godometer: da green lights dat you encounter in traffic
growdometer: da flourishing and maturing of living things under your care
hodometer: da "willing" females whom you have on speed-dial
hoedometer: da hours of use of your long-handled scraping-tool
joedometer: da coffee you consume each day, or da "of Arimathea"-named dudes whom you're acquainted wif
knowdometer: da clutter of assorted facts accumulated inside yer hat-rack

Additional examples of "alphabetic odometers" include ones dat tally and display da number/amount of:
lowdometer: da blahs and/or hangovers dat you've suffered through
mowdometer: da miles on yer lawn-tractor
nodometer: da head-shake responses to questions or asked-for favors
prodometer: da subjects dat you're super-familiar wif
quodometer: da occasions when you haven't upset da apple-cart
rowdometer: da boating trips on which you declined using an outboard motor
sewdometer: da stitches you've made in fabric to either repair it or create something new
sodometer: da occasions when you rudely/shruggingly responded to someone's concern or complaint
showdometer: either da performances you've put on or da occasions when you've let a lustful dude see your "merchandise"
slowdometer: da occasions when either you've really dawdled or had an uneventful existence/workday
stowdometer: da items you've squirreled away
strohdometer: da tall frothies you've tossed back
throwdometer: either da ball-pitches dat you've made, or da switch-cycles of a circuit-breaker
toedometer: da cute rubbery "piggies" dat you've playfully twiddled on giggling children or amused damsels
towdometer: da stuck/disabled vehicles dat you've rescued
whoadometer: da occasions dat you've told your horse to halt
woedometer: da disappointments and/or misfortunes dat you've encountered
yodometer: da "rude awakening" exclamations dat you've either uttered yourself or had barked at you by others

alphabetic odometers by QuacksO July 24, 2023

alphabetic arbitration 

An A-to-Z assortment of petty matters dat hafta be decided in court:
AArbitration: Legal wranglings regarding how long you hafta attend sobriety meetings.
barbitration: Gavel-banging decisions regarding da design of fishing-hooks.
carbitration: (1) What your health-foods-fanatic parents subject you to regarding how sweet/starchy your diet is allowed to be. (2) Da overly-picky/onerous rules dat da DMV dictates to us.
farbitration: Bu**s**t rules regarding longer distances.
garbitration: What snooty grownups foist upon you regarding your clothing choices.
jarbitration: Regulations about glass screw-top containers.
marbitration: Statutes da deal with dents and scratches in an objects paint/finish.
parbitration: What Goldfinger would have liked to take his "wrong-ball game-forfeiture" disappointment with James Bond to.
tarbitration: Legal proceedings regarding either tobacco by-products or da sticky messy goo dat they seal roofs with.
warbitration: What two opposing armies eventually resort to when they see dat they are too closely matched for one of da other to win their battle.

Additional alphabetic arbitration terms are possible is you alter da spellings slightly:
arbortration: Laws governing either drill/lathe-mandrels of vertical-frame landscaping.
barbertration: Stipulations on when/how you can get a haircut.
Farbertration: Dictates what kitchen gadgets may be used.
harbortration: Stupid rules governing a safe anchorage.

alphabetic arbitration by QuacksO December 29, 2023

backwards alphabet 

Saying the alphabet backwards, from Z to A. Thanks to the Captain Kangaroo show, which aired it so very, very many times, I somehow managed to memorize it & can say it in 3 Seconds flat! No kidding!

People doubt that I can say the backwards alphabet & are shocked when I accomplish it! They always ask how I can do that!

backwards alphabet by Starchylde May 21, 2016

The Alphabet Boys 

FBI, CIA, ATF, DEA, IRS, ICE, DHS. The Feds. The alphabet boys come for you when it becomes obvious that you're slinging dope, killing fools, cookin' the books, jumping the border, collaborating with terrorists, or doing other illegal shit.

Shit Lorenzo, we gotta get the coke in the truck, torch the stash house, and move it to the new spot. I just got tipped off that The Alphabet Boys are coming down for a raid.

The Alphabet Boys by Howimetyourgrandma April 16, 2020